Being Crazy Doesn't Mean They Aren't Out To Get You
by Rain446
Summary: Dean lost his sister when she was 7 years old. 12 years later they are reunited but something is seriously wrong. She is not the energetic child he remembers. What happened to her? Why was she taken? Dean is determined to find out because to a Winchester, family is everything. AU, Fem/traumatized Sam, Angry/protective Dean Rated T for violence (may change to M later on)
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone! New story that's been rattling around in my brain. Want to know if anyone's interested in reading more or if this one is destined to stay in the vault of my mind. If you leave your thoughts and opinions in a review I would be eternally grateful. _

* * *

Walking down the sidewalk back to the hotel, kicking the fallen leaves as she went, Samantha Winchester felt very proud of herself. At seven years old she had been tasked with the very important job of buying bandages for her big brother at the store down the street. Her daddy had needed some more due to the severity of her brothers wounds and he hadn't wanted to leave in case things got worse. So he'd asked her to get them.

She usually did these types of things with Dean but now he needed her and she was so happy to be able to help. Of course, she had been a little scared when the man at the counter had looked down at her with an annoyed expression but Dean needed her so that was enough to bolster her courage. She hadn't talked to anyone, other than when she'd paid the man, because both her daddy and Dean had told her never to talk to strangers. And she always listened to them when it came to things like that.

With hurried footsteps she headed back to the hotel they were staying in because she was not supposed to take to long. She was half way there when she ran into the man. It was strange. One minute he hadn't been there and the next he was. It was like magic. When she hit him it was like walking straight into a wall and she immediately fell backward onto her butt but she made sure to not drop the bandages.

Looking up, Samantha began to feel very frightened. He had pure black eyes and they were staring right at her. He reminded her of the monsters from her storybooks.

"Are you alright young one?"

Samantha clutched the bandages closer to her chest and nodded tentatively. He smiled then and held out his hand. The look on his face made her even more afraid and his long pale fingers reached out to her. Despite the fact that he terrified her, he was offering to help her up, so he couldn't be all bad her seven year old mind reasoned. Plus she had been taught to use manners and declining his help would be considered rude. So with shaking fingers she reached up to grab his hand.

The moment his cold skin touched hers her whole body went rigid and she couldn't move.

"There there my dear. Don't be afraid. I would never even dream of harming you my beautiful little Samantha."

Her eyes widened in shock and fear when he said her name. A scream began to tear its way out of her lips when suddenly his other hand was covering her mouth in a vice like grip.

"No, none of that I'm afraid."

He proceeded to kneel down so that they were face to face. He was smiling the entire time. Tears started to fall down her cheeks and in her mind she started screaming out for her big brother.

"Now we're going to go on a little trip you and I. Are you looking forward to it? I know I am."

In the blink of an eye Samantha was unconscious in his arms. Her head rested lightly against his chest and her arm hung limply in front of her. The tiny box of bandages fell to the sidewalk below.

It would be the only sign of her that John Winchester would find when he came searching.

They would not see her again for twelve years.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for all the follows guys! Looks like I will definitely be continuing this story. Enjoy the next chapter. They will get longer after this._

* * *

Running. People do it for a lot of different reasons. Some do it for exercise, or to blow off steam. Some do it for the thrill or to raise money for a needy cause. But most do it for another reason. Most people do it to get away from something…or someone. To escape. In her case it was exactly that. She was running to escape her life and everything that that entailed. She was running to escape the fear and the pain. The isolation and the torment. But most of all, she was running to escape from…_Him._

_HE_ had told her once, long ago, that she was his favorite, that she was _HIS_ star. Well now _HE_ knew what the star could really do. They would all remember this day as the day they failed to hold her captive even a moment longer. She was finally free and there was no way in hell that she would ever go back. She'd die before she went back…

So, ignoring the screams of the others, she ran. The wind flew freely through her long dirty brown hair and the rain whipped at her pale skin like needles, but it was glorious. She didn't dodge the branches and bushes that nipped at her flesh, instead she ran through them. The pain from their cuts making her feel alive again for the first time in twelve years. She had no idea where she was going… but she sure as hell had the freedom to go there.

And if, in the back of her mind, _HE_ started laughing…well, she brushed it off as a residual effect. _HE _couldn't hurt her anymore…not anymore…

* * *

_Six Months Later_

Dean slumped down onto one of the remaining two bar stools in, Steve's Place, a dive bar just outside of Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and ordered a beer. He'd just wiped the floor with some poor pathetic drunk at a game of pool and was now in the mood to celebrate. He was on a roll these days. Five consecutive hunts without so much as a single scratch. Daddy would've been proud…if the bastard even cared. Shaking off the morose thoughts of the past, he took a look around the place as he waited for his drink. It was pretty much like every other bar he'd been in for the past few months. Dark, dreary, and smelling faintly of urine. Everyone in the place looked like they were one drink away from ending it all. He felt like that some days as well but it was to much of a hassle. Besides, he still had things to do.

"Here you go."

Looking up, he noticed that the bartender looked as happy to be there as everyone else. She was pretty hot though. He smiled seductively at her as he grabbed his beer. She just rolled her eyes and went to help another patron. Eh, whatever, can't score all the time. He sipped at his drink and sighed. The celebration was pretty pathetic even by his standards. Calling it a night was seeming like a better idea all the time. He figured he'd finish his beer and head back to the motel and crash. Deep down he knew why he was in such a depressed mood but he really didn't want to think about it.

"Hey you!"

He was roughly pulled backward by his collar and fell off the bar stool. He landed hard on his back but immediately jumped up and spun around to face his attacker. It was the idiot he'd beaten at pool.

"What the hell asshole?!"

"You cheated me outta my money! Give it back!"

Dean brushed off his jacket and smirked. "Hey man, just because you suck at pool doesn't mean I cheated your ass. You should practice more."

He brushed past the guy with every intention of leaving when he was grabbed again. Now he was getting pissed off. He was not in the mood to deal with this.

"You ain't goin anywhere until I get my damn money back."

Dean jerked his arm free and then did what he had to. He took a swing. His fist connected with the man's jaw and he crashed to the floor. As soon as the guy hit the ground about three more goons came running over. It looked like Dean was about to get his celebration anyway.

* * *

Making his way back to the motel, Dean rubbed his arm and laughed ruefully. What a mess. First he gets shot down, then he gets in a bar fight, which results in him getting thrown out of said bar, and he didn't even get the chance to get drunk, or even relatively buzzed. He just wanted the damn day to be over. The whole reason he'd gone to the bar in the first place was to forget what the following day was. The day he dreaded every single year…the day he lost everything. Deciding he wasn't quite ready to give in yet he changed direction and began wandering off toward the park a few blocks away. Maybe the fresh air would clear his head.

It was always like this. He felt bad about trying to forget…but remembering was just far to painful. It was his fault after all…as his father liked to remind him. Dean sighed and ran his hand through his hair. This was ridiculous. He was a twenty three year old man. He shouldn't be wandering around a park at one in the morning wallowing in self pity.

_Slam!_

"Ugh!" He yelped out in surprise as someone ran into him from behind. He fell forward and landed hard on his side.

"What the hell?!" He yelled as he looked up to try and see who or what had hit him. He was just in time to see a figure vanish around the corner of the recreation building in the middle of the park. The thing was closed for the upcoming winter so it was basically abandoned. The perfect place for some asshole to hide in. Dean decided enough was enough and quickly got to his feet before picking up the chase.

By the time he reached the corner he was only able to hear the back door slam shut. He reached into his waistband and pulled out his knife…just in case things got messy. The darkness made it hard to see but he'd spent enough time hunting in it to do alright. He carefully made his way toward the door, listening for any sounds of movement. When he heard nothing he gently turned the doorknob. It was strangely quiet and the door opened soundlessly. He figured that whoever was squatting must have WD-40'd the hinges to remain hidden. Smart move. He closed the door gently and slowly made his way inside.

Despite being closed, the place was still well maintained, for which he was very grateful. It meant he wouldn't accidentally trip over something in the dark. There was still no noise and it made him wonder if, whoever it was, knew he was inside and was waiting to jump him. He brought his knife out in front and kept walking. He rounded a corner and found himself in some sort of storage room. There were pool toys and tons of other crap for kids to play with in the nice weather. He was about to turn around and head back the way he came when he heard it. It sounded like a can rolling across the floor. He turned his head toward the sound when suddenly he was hit from the opposite side and both him and his attacker slammed into a pile of boxes.

In the ensuing struggle he managed to lose his knife but it appeared he was fighting just a normal human person. Nothing supernatural. What really shocked him though, was the fact that it appeared to be a woman.

"Hey, calm down you crazy bitch!"

She disregarded his words and continued to attack. She appeared to have some training judging by the fact that he was actually having trouble getting the upper hand. They rolled across the floor, with her kicking and scratching and punching, the entire time. Dean was just trying to get a hold of her arms to get her to stop. Then suddenly her face became illuminated by the moonlight shining in through the small window and Dean froze. Her eyes…Dean knew those eyes.

Sensing a moment to escape, the girl jumped off of him and started running for the exit. Dean quickly shook off his shock, deciding he had just imagined things and pulled his gun from his waistband. There were no real bullets in it because he hadn't changed them out since his last hunt, but rock salt would be enough to slow her down. She was just about to reach the doorway when he fired. The impact sent her crashing into the wall beside the doorway and she crumpled to the floor in a heap, unconscious. He grimaced at the imagined pain. He hadn't exactly meant to knock her out. At least now he would be able to get a better look at her. He pulled out his flashlight and pointed it down at her prone form. She looked fairly young, maybe around nineteen or twenty. Her hair was filthy and it looked like she hadn't bathed in months. The hair covered her face but she was very pale underneath the dirt. He ran the light up and down her body when he noticed something strange. It looked like there was something carved into the flesh of her exposed left wrist.

Dean knelt down and brought the light closer. When he saw what was there his eyes widened and his blood ran cold. Carved into her pale skin was…his name. Right there, plain as day, was the word DEAN. All capitals, and slightly faded, it looked like it had been there for years. It was then that the girls eyes flashed through his head and a terrifying possibility entered his mind. But it couldn't be, he reasoned. It had been twelve years…there was no way it was her, no way it could be her, but…

"Sammy?"


	3. Chapter 3

_Here's the next chapter! I made it a long one for all of you who are following this story. Thanks, it is great motivation to keep writing. I would love to hear what everyone thinks. Oh, and I don't have a beta so all mistakes are my own. Feel free to point them out so I can fix them._

* * *

Once he was back inside his motel room, Dean lay the girl down on the bed. She was scarily light and looked very malnourished. He'd carried her all the way from the rec center but now that they were in the room he wasn't sure what to do. The odds that this was indeed his long lost sister were very slim. It was more likely that she was just some random crazy person that he was now going to have to deal with. He sat down in the chair across the room and stared over at the bed. She looked to be around the right age…she had the same hair color, the same eye color and even the same feisty attitude.

Samantha had been an adorable kid that would always follow him around wherever he went. The day that he had found out he was going to be a big brother had been the best day of his life. And when she had actually arrived, well, she had annoyed the hell outta him. All the crying and screaming and throwing up she did actually made him tell his mother to take her back to the hospital.

He laughed out loud at the memory. "We warmed up to each other eventually…right Sammy…"

With a sigh he dragged his hand through his hair and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees, and stared down at the carpet. This whole thing was ridiculous. Thinking some strange girl was his sister… Sam was probably dead…

"Ugh…"

His head shot up at the sound. Apparently she was waking up. He stood up and quickly made his way back over to the bed. Her eyes were scrunched up like she was trying to come back. He waited with bated breath as her hazel eyes fluttered open. For a moment she seemed confused and then all hell broke loose. Before he could even move, she was flying off the bed and in the corner of the room looking like a caged animal. He held his hands out in front of him in a placating gesture. She narrowed her eyes and pulled a knife. He mentally kicked himself for not checking her for weapons.

"Hey, hey look, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, so please just calm down."

Her gaze shifted wildly around the room looking for a way out. Dean saw her eyes land on the door and he slowly shifted to block her way. He couldn't let her go. She was too dangerous at the moment. Unfortunately she caught the movement and dropped into a defensive stance.

"I will not go back…"

It was barely a whisper so he couldn't really hear what she'd said. "What?"

"I will not go back!" She screamed before lunging at him with the knife. Dean was prepared this time and quickly pulled a taser from his pocket and pulled the trigger. Her body went rigid from the electricity and fell to the floor. He grimaced as she twitched on the carpet.

"I'm really sorry about that but you gave me no choice."

She glared up at him as her muscles tensed. "N-no…"

"No what? Where do you not want to go back to?"

Her eyes narrowed again but this time she seemed more confused than angry. "N-not HIM?"

"HIM? Him who?"

She closed her eyes and Dean decided not to press her until the taser's effects wore off. It didn't take long because he'd only used it once and, when she finally seemed to relax, her eyes rolled open again and she stared up at him.

Dean knelt down beside her, keeping a healthy distance so she couldn't grab him, and tried to make himself as non threatening as possible. "Again, I'm sorry about the taser. I just couldn't let you run outta here like that without a little chat first." He placed the taser on the floor beside him so that it was out of reach just to reassure her. She tracked each of his movements with those familiar eyes and he once again found himself believing that it really was Sam.

"See? I'm not gonna hurt you. It's okay."

Still looking extremely distrustful, the girl slowly pushed herself into a sitting position and shuffled backward so that she was up against the wall and far from him. Dean could understand her reaction…he had shot and tasered her after all, that didn't exactly instill a great deal of trust.

As she was sitting there she began absentmindedly rubbing her wrist. The one with his name carved into it.

"You know…that's my name too. Dean."

She completely froze and then looked down at her wrist. Her hands started shaking and she pulled her knees up to her chest. _Ooops,_ thought Dean. Maybe he shouldn't have brought it up.

"Hey, uh, sorry if that's a touchy subject. I didn't mean to upset you or anything."

She looked up at him with a frown on her face. She seemed so fragile now compared to the attacker of earlier. It was like a complete 180.

"You are Dean?"

"Yup. Dean Winchester. Pleased to meet you Miss?"

She tilted her head but didn't speak. Instead she started rubbing her wrist again.

"Not exactly a great communicator are you…"

He sighed again and shifted so that he was fully sitting on the floor. "So, if you won't tell me your name, how about what you were doing in the rec center?"

"Rec center?"

"Okay…Are you broke or something? Why couldn't you stay in a place like this?" He gestured around the room. Once again she tracked the movement. Dean found it strange. This girl had to of had training of some kind. She was a good fighter, plus she was very aware of her surroundings. But on the other hand, she was completely filthy, like she'd been living in a hole and she was so skinny that it really made him wonder when the last time she'd eaten was.

"Broke? Yes. I am broke."

God, it was like talking to a five year old.

"Alright. So you have no name, you're broke and you live in the rec center. Anything else I should know?"

_Growl._

The sound of her stomach broke the silence and Dean couldn't help but burst out laughing. And when she looked at him like he was the strange one, well, he laughed even harder.

"So I guess you're hungry huh." He said when he finally calmed down. "How do you feel about pie?"

* * *

_One hour later_

She watched him carefully as he cleaned up the food wrappers surrounding her. He made no move to touch her or even come near her for which she was very grateful.

_He's lulling you into a false sense of security…and then he'll attack._

"Shut up…" She murmured under her breath. The man stopped cleaning and gave her a funny look. It was one that said, _She's crazy. _It was understandable. Sane people didn't talk to themselves.

"You want another one?" He asked as he gestured to the bag of beef jerky he was holding. She shook her head no and stared back down at her wrist. Dean. Dean was a name that had meant something to her once…a long time ago. It's why she'd carved it into her skin…so she would never forget. The only problem was…that she had forgotten. After everything…the name had faded away, along with any memory or sense of who she had been before HIM.

_Fool. The past is irrelevant. The name Dean is a coincidence. Just kill him and move on…you know you want to…_

"I said shut up…"

He looked at her again and this time he actually looked concerned. It was odd seeing someone look at her like that. Odd and…kind of nostalgic…

"Umm…so, what were you really doing in the rec center?" He asked as he sat back down on the floor across from her. Rec Center. She still had no idea what a rec center was. _It's probably the building you were squatting in you idiot. _She narrowed her eyes but kept them firmly away from the corner of the room. It would do her no good to indulge him.

"I needed to sleep…" The words were out of her mouth before she even realized she was speaking. Her eyes widened in shock. It was strange…talking to this…man, made her feel at ease somehow.

"That's understandable. Everybody needs to sleep. How long have you been in town?"

_He asks to many questions…_

_A spy?! Working for HIM!_

_No…Dean wouldn't be working for him…_

_Dean. Dean Winchester._

"A…few days."

He smiled softly at her when she answered. He seemed relieved that she could understand and was answering his questions. Of course she could understand. She wasn't stupid…_he_ had taught her many things after all…

"A few days huh…well that must have sucked. It couldn't have been to comfortable sleeping on that mat."

"It was more comfortable than-"

_Wait! What are you doing?! Don't tell him you fool! He'll think you're insane and have you locked up!_

"More comfortable than what?" Dean questioned softly as she cut herself off. Despite what her mind was telling her, she didn't believe that he would react that way. For some reason he seemed like he would understand.

"More comfortable than…the box."

His face went as white as a ghost when she said that. It confused her. Why would he react that way?

_See! I told you he was a spy! He knows about the box!_

"Would you shut up!" She screamed toward the corner of the room. He would just not shut up and she was trying to concentrate. When she focussed back on Dean he was staring at her in concern. His eyes kept shifting to the corner of the room. The empty corner…

"I'm sorry for yelling."

He turned back to her in confusion. "N-no, it's okay. Are you alright?"

_More questions._ She was starting to get uncomfortable and antsy. The urge to leave; to get out, was starting to become overwhelming.

"I need to leave."

His eyes widened in apparent fear as she blurted out the words. It was another confusing reaction to something she'd said. She stood up abruptly and pulled her knife out again. Holding it out in front of her, she started shifting toward the door and the freedom it represented. She would not be held captive again.

_What makes you think you could ever escape from me my little star…you always were mine and you always will be…_

Darkness suddenly started to skirt the edges of her vision. _No…not now…_

"Hey!" Dean yelled as he surged forward to catch her as her legs gave out. The blade in her hand fell from limp fingers and her thoughts slowly faded away. But before she could fade completely…his laughter rang out around her.

* * *

"Winnie! Wait Winnie!

Winifred Howland stopped walking as the voice of her best friend Beth Mason rang out behind her. She smiled widely and waved. The two girls were on their way to school and they were already late.

"Hey Beth." She said as her red headed partner in crime skidded to a stop beside her. Beth smiled wickedly and started laughing.

"What? What is it?" Asked Winnie.

"Oh nothing…except I just found out that Mark is skipping class today and heading to that place down by the beach. You know the one."

"Where all the perverts hang out?"

"Hey!" Beth scowled indignantly. "I hang out there!

Winnie laughed. "Well dear, you are a pervert."

Beth looked like she was going to slap her but then she burst out laughing. Winnie joined her and the two of them burst into hysterics. They eventually calmed down and Winnie, knowing Beth wanted to go, suggested that they head to the beach. It was Beth's idea that they take the shortcut.

"…so then Kenny said go to hell and Brian punched him in the face. I swear I will never understand men."

"Maybe you should become a lesbian."

Winnie cocked her head as if thinking about it. "If I did, would you be my girlfriend?"

"Wow Winnie…just wow."

"Hello girls."

The two of them jumped at the unexpected voice. A strange man was standing there in the middle of the path. He was very pale with shaggy black hair that just covered his eyes. His clothes were strange too. He was wearing a suit covered in a black trench coat. Strangely, Winnie found him to be kinda hot, despite the fact that he looked to be at least twice her age. As she was thinking this, Beth grabbed onto her hand, which jolted her back to reality.

"What the hell do you want creep?" She said with as much venom as she could. The man didn't say anything. He just started walking forward. Beth started trying to drag her backward, away from him, but for some reason Winnie was reluctant to leave.

"Come on Winnie…lets get outta here…"

Winnie could hear the fear in Beth's voice and it started to seep into her. "Umm, later man."

Spinning on her heel, Winnie began running, dragging Beth along, back the way they'd come. They ran like their lives depended on it and they didn't stop until their school came into view. Breathing heavily they both started to relax.

"Wow…that guy really freaked me out."

"Yeah…"

Laughing somewhat nervously they looked back the way they'd come from. The strange man was nowhere to be seen.

"Looks like we lost him." Said Beth as she tried to fix her hair. She started walking toward the school but Winnie stayed where she was. And it wasn't because she didn't want to go…it was because she couldn't. her body just wouldn't move.

"Come on Winnie. We're already late enough as it is."

Beth turned around and her eyes widened in shock and fear. "Winnie!"

Winnie looked up as the man stood over her. He'd appeared out of nowhere, black eyes staring down at her, and she knew…she knew he was going to take her. His hand reached out and a moment later darkness consumed her…

"WINNIE!"

"My beautiful little Winifred…we're going to have so much fun."

* * *

The voice echoed in her mind and she slowly opened her eyes. Apparently he'd just taken another one. It was always the same. They were all his beautiful little dolls.

_Where am I? _Her mind whispered as she looked up at an unfamiliar ceiling. Her body jolted forward but was stopped cold when something held her firmly by the wrist. She cast her gaze to the side to see a pair of handcuffs securing her to a strange bed frame. She jiggled it a bit but didn't try to escape. It was best to get information first before attempting anything. She wasn't afraid. She didn't get afraid anymore…but it was a bit unsettling to wake up in a place you'd never been before. Turning her attention away from the cuffs she took in her surroundings. A motel room. It was obvious from the shitty decor. There were two beds, an old TV sitting on a dresser and a small table set up near the window. Nothing worth remembering. The only thing note worthy was the man standing in the doorway holding a bag of takeout.

He was staring at her like she was a ghost. Most days she actually felt like one. He was fairly young, maybe around 23 or 24, wasn't bad looking either.

"Are you going to stand there all day?"

At her voice the man jumped. He looked very nervous which was kind of funny considering he was the one that had kidnapped her.

_Maybe he plans to rape you? He looks the type__…_

"Shut up…" she murmured softly under her breath. The man looked at her strangely as she talked to herself. She didn't blame him. He walked over to the table by the window and set his bags down. Then he made his way over to the other bed and sat down facing her.

"Uhh…how are you feeling?"

She took stock of herself and realized that her back was killing her…and so was her head. She had no recollection of how she'd ended up in her current predicament and would have to rely solely on him for info.

"I'm sorry about the handcuffs but…after what happened in the rec center and here earlier, I couldn't really take any chances."

_Rec center?_ _Oh__…_she vaguely remembered attacking someone in the dark. She didn't take kindly to people coming into her space. That was when she realized her back was killing her and she remembered the gunshot.

"You shot me."

He grimaced and rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm sorry about that too."

She studied him for a moment and figured that he was telling the truth. He did feel bad about it and she wondered why. Had she been in the same situation she would have shot him without a moments hesitation or guilt.

_And that__'__s why I love you so much__…_

"I said shut up…"

"Who are you talking to?" He asked as he watched her in confusion. "You were doing the same thing earlier before you passed out."

She realized that she must have been having a pretty bad episode earlier because she had no idea what he was talking about. "Nobody. Who are you and what do you want?"

"My name is…Dean Winchester. I told you that earlier. Don't you remember?"

Yup. Really bad episode. Apparently she'd had a full blown conversation with this guy and she had absolutely no recollection of it. What the hell had they talked about? Wait…_Dean Winchester?_ _Dean?_ The name stirred something deep down inside of her and her hand wandered over to her right wrist and despite the fact that it was handcuffed, she grabbed it and started squeezing hard.

_Ignore it__…__it will only hurt you to remember__…_

_Remember what?_

_Remember how you were abandoned to me__…_

_No. _She squeezed harder and started digging her nails into the flesh of her wrist.

"What are you doing?!" The man, Dean, yelled as he surged forward and grabbed her hand in a vice like grip. There was a troubled expression on his face and for some strange reason she felt bad about putting it there. He held her hand a moment longer before releasing it and walking off toward the bathroom. When he came back out he was carrying a bottle of antiseptic and a bandage.

_Bandages__…_Once again something stirred inside of her. An image of bandages appeared in her mind and for some reason she felt a faint feeling of pride. Shaking her head she focused on what Dean was doing. He was now standing there looking at her.

"Do you…mind if I look at your wrist?"

She gazed down at her wrist. Blood was oozing out of the nail marks she'd created. It didn't matter to her, she'd had far worse done to her, but it really seemed to concern him and once again she felt bad for making him feel like that.

"Okay…I guess."

He looked immensely relived as he proceeded to gently clean the wounds and wrap them. Once that was done he sat back on the other bed again.

"So…you seem really different from before."

"So?"

He frowned and ran a hand through his hair. "God…this is harder than I thought it would be…"

This, whatever this was, was getting ridiculous. "What exactly is this? You shoot me, knock me out and then bring me back to your motel room? What kind of freak are you?"

He looked up in surprise and held his hands out in a placating sort of way. "Hey, it's totally not like that! I just brought you here because…"

When he trailed off she rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't have time for this." She reached into her left pocket and pulled out a lock pick. The handcuffs were off quicker than Dean could react. Unfortunately though, he did have enough time to pull his gun.

"Whoa there sweetheart, you ain't goin nowhere until we have a little chat."

Well at least he was actually doing something now instead of just sitting there staring at her. Feeling curious, she sat back against the headboard and pulled her knees up against her chest. "I'm listening."

"You know, you are being awfully cavalier about all this. Not to mention the weird personality swings… Aren't you scared?"

"I have been through worse than this. So much worse…"

_That__'__s right my beautiful girl__…__remember the fun we had, remember how much I love you__…_

"I told you to shut the hell up!" She yelled toward the corner of the room and he disappeared with a smile on his face. She glared angrily at the empty space for a moment before facing Dean again. He was staring at her like she was losing it. She was…but that didn't mean she wanted anyone to judge her on it…especially some stranger…

_But is he really a stranger?_

That thought startled her and her eyes widened in shock.

"What? What's wrong?"

Ignoring Dean, her gaze traveled down to her wrist. Very slowly she unwrapped the bandage around it to reveal the word carved in her flesh. She didn't remember doing it…but it had always been a sort of comfort for her. DEAN. And this man, this familiar man…

"Who are you?" She whispered as she looked back up at him. His eyes softened and he looked at her like he knew her.

"I should be asking you that." He lowered the gun and placed it on the bed beside him. "Who are you?"

She was…she was…

"Nobody…I'm just…nobody…"

Dean stood up and walked toward her. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stared into her eyes. It was like he was looking right through her.

"You are not nobody. In fact…I think you might be someone very important…"

The way he said that made him sound so broken. He sounded like he was in so much pain and for some reason she felt the need to help him. She never wanted to hear him sound like that again.

"Dean…"

"Samantha."

She completely froze. _Samantha? Samantha__…_The name sounded so familiar…so nostalgic…

"Who is Samantha?"

"I think…you might be…"

"What do you mean? Who the hell are you? And what do you want?"

She was getting kind of mad now. This strange guy was making her think things…things she didn't want to think about. She had given up hope of ever knowing who she was before HE got her and now this Dean guy was calling her Samantha and talking to her like he knew her.

"Look, I'm not trying to upset you or scare you. I just want to know who you are. Does the name Samantha mean anything to you?"

* * *

_Why do you always need to be such a pain Sammy? _

_I__'__m not a pain , you__'__re so mean Dean._

_You are so a pain. Stay here. I__'__ll be back later._

_But I wanna go to._

_I said no. I wanna hang out with my friends. _

_But Dean__…_

_Don__'__t worry Sammy. I promise I won__'__t be gone long. We__'__ll play later okay?_

…_Okay Dean._

_Good girl Sammy. Later._

* * *

"Sammy…"

"What?"

"I…I remember…Sammy."

A look of reluctant hope appeared on Dean's face. "You…you are her…aren't you?"

She didn't know what to think anymore. Was she this Samantha person or was he just projecting his own issues onto her…but if that was the case then what were those strange memories…

* * *

"Is…is your name Samantha?"

She slowly brought her eyes up to meet his. They looked so hollow…and empty. The exact opposite of his little sister. But he wanted it to be her so badly…

"I am…the star. I am HIS beautiful little star…"

_Okay,_ Dean thought, his hopes crushed to a pulp.

"But once…once upon a time, I think…I was Sammy…"

Dean felt his heart stop in his chest and then blast forward at full speed. "How do you know that name?"

"I remember…a boy used to call me that." She looked down at her wrist with a confused expression. "I remember the boy…and bandages."

Almost before she finished speaking, Dean surged forward and enveloped her in his arms. He could feel her body tense but he didn't care. The moment she mentioned the bandages he knew. His beautiful little sister was here. He'd found her…after twelve years he'd finally found her. It was like the hole in his heart had suddenly been filled and it was the best feeling in the world. Years of pain vanished to make room for an overwhelming feeling of relief. His Sammy was back.

"God, I knew it was you…I knew it, oh God Sammy. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" The tears started pouring down his face. "I love you so much…I'm so, so sorry…" He tightened his hold and pulled her close. She was as still as a statue in his arms. "Sammy…it's okay, it's okay now…I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again…it's gonna be okay…"

He didn't know how long they stayed like that but, eventually, Dean released her and shuffled backward a little. He became concerned though, when Sam didn't seem to react at all. She was just staring straight ahead with a distant look in her eyes. Almost…like she wasn't even there. It concerned him more than the slight change of personality he'd experienced with her earlier. One second she was scared and very childlike, and the next she was defensive and violent. And now she was nearly comatose.

"Sammy?" He said as he waved a hand in front of her face. No reaction. "Sammy, can you hear me?"

Still nothing. Not a good sign. "Okay…okay, think Dean. What are you going to do with a potentially comatose sister?" He stood up and silently looked around the room for some kind of idea. When nothing jumped out at him he gave a frustrated sigh and clenched his hands into fists. "What the hell am I supposed to do?!"

Sam's whole body flinched at his raised voice and he immediately dropped back down to a crouch in front of her. "Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. It's alright." She started rubbing her wrist again and Dean decided that he needed some help. He flew to his feet, ran over to his duffle bag, and grabbed his phone. After glancing back to check on Sam, Dean dialled a familiar number. It rang four times before the man on the other end picked up.

"Hello?"

"Bobby! Something amazing has just happened!"

"Whoa kid, calm down. Take a breath and start from the beginning ya idgit."

Dean could barely contain his excitement. "Okay, okay. Listen…I found her Bobby. I found Sam." Silence was his only answer. "Bobby?"

"Dean…I thought you came to terms with that a long time ago. Sam's not comin back kid. Ya gotta let her go."

"No Bobby, I'm serious. I am literally looking at her right now. It's her Bobby. It's really her." More silence. "Bobby."

"Dean, you are really starting to worry me boy. Maybe I should-"

Unbelievable. He needed Bobby's help, not his concern. "Bobby! I'm not lying or going crazy. I'll bring her to you. Then you'll have to believe me."

"Dean?!"

Dean hung up the phone and glared down at it. He had though out of anyone, Bobby would at least be open to the possibility that Sam was back. Maybe his father had brainwashed the man.

"Well Sammy, it looks like we're taking a little drive."

Still no reaction. She was just rubbing her wrist and staring off into the distance. _What the hell happened to you?_ he thought as he watched her. He also found himself wondering if he should call his father. John should be informed that his daughter was alive at least. But Dean found himself not wanting to do it. He hadn't spoken to his father in two years. Ever since the man had stopped looking.

"Screw him…" He mumbled as he started packing up the room. He'd call the bastard after he settled Sam in at Bobby's place.

Once everything was in the car, Dean headed back inside to get Sam. She was still in the same place but he was worried about how he was going to get her into the car. He made his way over and squatted down in front of her again. "Hey there beautiful mind. You ready to go?"

Suddenly she blinked and her eyes shot over to his face. "Go? I have to go…I have to go! HE's coming! I have to go!"

Springing up like a rabbit, Sam knocked Dean over and started bolting toward the door. Thankfully Dean was able to rise quickly and he started heading after her. She wrenched the door open and ran out into the parking lot. It was still dark so no one was around to see them. Dean followed right on her heals. "Sam! Wait Sam!"

She didn't listen and continued running. Fed up with the chase, and feeling afraid that he was about to lose her again, Dean took a leap of faith and just barely managed to grab her ankles, causing her to trip and collapse onto the concrete. He scrapped himself up pretty badly but there was no way in hell that he was letting go now that he'd finally found her. She tried to kick him off but Dean held on tightly. "Sammy calm down!"

She looked back at him with eyes the size of saucers. She was absolutely terrified of something and Dean decided that if she wanted to go, he would make sure they went. "We'll go okay. Just calm down and I'll take you as far from here as I can. I promise."

Still scared, Sam slowly relaxed and stopped fighting. She stared at him and, trusting her not to run, Dean released her leg and pushed himself to his feet. Sam looked up at him with dull eyes. It was just…wrong. He reached his hand down to help her up and after a moments hesitation she tentatively took it.

"Good girl Sam. We can leave now. You ready?"

She nodded and began trailing him back toward the motel room. It reminded him of the way she used to be and it made him hopeful that his sister was still in there somewhere.

* * *

_I hope this chapter didn't confuse anyone. The italics are thoughts that Sam is having. She is not exactly of stable mind so they are slightly chaotic. There are also some memories thrown in there too. If anyone had trouble understanding let me know and i'll try to fix it in the next chapter._


	4. Chapter 4

**_Thank you guys for your awesome reviews! I'm so glad your liking it so far! I would also like to thank LightningBolt21 for pointing out the fact that Dean is a bit out of character. I am hoping to get him back to being the Dean we all know and love very soon (i'm just a sucker for sentimental sibling moments). Keep reviewing and if there is anything you guys would like to see in this story let me know, I may just put it in. _**

* * *

"_Open wide Star."_

_She shook her head violently and kept her mouth firmly closed. He just smiled at her and moved even closer._

"_You know what will happen if you don't drink it. I will do what I promised."_

_She knew he was serious. He had done it before. That girl died because she didn't listen. With tears pouring down her cheeks she slowly opened her mouth and took the glass he offered her._

"_Good girl."_

_He always made it sound like it was some kind of health drink but…she knew what it really was. Every time she drank it a piece of her disappeared. She didn't know who she was anymore and as much as she hated to admit it, her will to refuse was becoming less and less over time. _

_When she finished he took the glass and smiled down at her. "You see how much easier it is if you don't fight it?" Turning away he motioned toward the doorway and a moment later Jacob came forward…and he was dragging Mark behind him._

"_No!" She screamed as the small boy was thrown to the ground in front of her. "You said you wouldn't! I drank it!"_

_He turned back to her and smiled again. "But you fought my little Star. So you must be taught another lesson I'm afraid. Jacob."_

_Jacob took a step forward and held his hand out toward her. A crushing force surrounded her, effectively holding her in place. She struggled against the invisible binds as he walked over to the whimpering child on the floor. "Please don't! I won't do it again! Please!"_

_Ignoring her pleas, he placed his hand on Mark's head and looked up at her. "Learn this well." And then Mark burst into flames._

"_Ahhhhhhh!" The child screamed as his flesh burned and far slower than she wished…he died. The smell was all consuming and made her want to throw up. Jacob let her go and she collapsed to the floor in front of the charred remains of an eight year old boy she had promised to protect. Without another word the two of them left the room. The large metal door slammed closed behind them, leaving her alone with what was left of Mark._

"_Mark?" She whispered as she crawled over to his body. "Mark?" Tears started streaming down her cheeks when there was no answer. Despite the smell and the oozing of the burnt flesh she pulled him into her arms and held him tightly. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"_

"…I'm sorry…"

Dean looked over at Sam as she muttered another apology under her breath. Ever since they had left the motel she had been staring off into space and muttering to herself. He had tried talking to her as he drove but got no response. He tried to focus on the road to Bobby's, it wasn't very far, but he couldn't stop gazing at Sam. He was still in disbelief about the whole thing. Sam…his Sam was sitting right there beside him. After twelve years she was back. For the first time since she went missing he saw a light in the tunnel of darkness he'd been living in.

"Hey Sammy, you're gonna love Bobby. He's a little rough around the edges and a bit crotchety but deep down he's like a stuffed grizzly."

Still no response. Dean sighed and faced the road again. This was going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

"What is crotchety?"

A soft voice rang out a few minutes later. Dean whipped his eyes over to his sister in surprise. She was still staring out the window but she seemed more alive now and was slowly tracing her finger up and down the glass.

"Uh, it means grumpy…"

"So Bobby is grumpy. Is Bobby always grumpy?"

Feeling completely elated, Dean tried to keep the conversation going. "Yeah. He's getting old and lives alone, which apparently means the world is one big pain in the ass."

"Is he your dad Dean?"

That stopped him cold. Bobby his father?

"No Sam. Bobby is not my father."

"Star."

"What?"

"I am Star."

What was he supposed to say to that. Tell her no, her name is Sam? He was going to have to be delicate with her for now.

"Sorry. Star."

She nodded to herself and then turned to face him. "Who is Bobby?"

"Bobby is a friend of the family."

"Family…friend…"

It hurt him to hear the confusion in her voice. The fact that she didn't seem to understand words like friend and family pissed him off. He was gonna find the bastard that did this to her and he was gonna kill him.

"I would like to meet Bobby."

He smiled softly as she turned back toward the window. "Sure…Star. He wants to meet you too."

"Why? I am…nothing. I want to be…nothing."

Again Dean didn't know what to say. He wasn't used to all this emotional stuff. He didn't know what to do. So in the end, he let the conversation die and focused back on the road. Sam didn't seem to care. She just kept looking out the window. The good thing was that she didn't check out anymore. He could still see life in her eyes from the reflection in the window and despite the fact that he now felt really awkward, it still gave him peace knowing she was still with him.

_Twenty minutes later_

They pulled up outside of Bobby Singer's place around dawn and Dean was dead tired. It wasn't a long drive from his motel but the night had been a hell of a long one. When they pulled into the driveway, Sam's eyes had widened when she saw all the cars surrounding the place. Dean couldn't help but laugh.

"Looks like a junk yard doesn't it. Bobby likes to try and fix up these 'cars' and sell 'em. Not a very lucrative career in my opinion."

She turned to him with a blank look on her face. It was obvious she had no idea what he was talking about. Dean couldn't help but wonder what she had been doing all those years. He hadn't wanted to freak her out even more by suggesting a shower before they left the motel so she was still filthy, but despite that, she didn't seem to be physically injured. It was a blessing, but it also made him terrified of what she had been put through to have such a rudimentary understanding of certain things about the world around her. On the other hand, she certainly knew how to take care of herself. Her self defence skills were on par with his own.

"Ah, never mind. Shall we?" He gestured toward the house and her eyes shone with excitement. She practically jumped out of the car. "Hey, wait up Sam-I mean Star!"

Not listening to him, she continued running up to the front porch. Dean was fast on her heels but he wasn't quite fast enough. The front door was wrenched open and there stood Bobby, mouth wide open in disbelief. It would have been hilarious…if not for the fact that the man had a shotgun pointed right at Sam. She immediately skidded to a stop and fell into a defensive stance. Faster than even he thought possible, Sam pulled her knife and held it out in front of her. Dean hadn't wanted to take it from her because it seemed to be a comfort and without it she tended to get agitated. He was kind of regretting that now.

"Bobby wait! Don't shoot!"

Still holding the gun at the ready, Bobby looked at him in irritation. "What the hell boy?! Who's the girl and why does she look like you just picked her up off the side of the damn road?!"

Not really sure what was going on, Sam took a slow step backward, never lowering the knife an inch. She was deteriorating fast, Dean could tell, so he tried to diffuse the situation.

"Lower the gun old man, you might hurt yourself!"

Bobby glowered down at him from the porch and then turned his gaze back to Sam. Then, slower than he wanted, Dean watched him put the gun down. He breathed a small sigh of relief and then his focus swung back over to Sam. She was still as tense as a rattle snake and Dean had to walk around so he could slowly approach her from the front. If he had come up behind her he knew it wouldn't have ended well.

"Sa-Star…hey, it's okay. You just scared the old coot, running up there like that. He's not gonna hurt you. I promise. It's okay…just put the knife down." He kept his voice low and as soothing as possible and after a few tense seconds, her knife slowly lowered. She didn't put it away completely but the fact that she did as he asked was a major step in his book. He was worried about the look in her eyes though. The Sam he had been driving with, the inquisitive girl who wanted to meet Bobby, was gone.

"You care to tell me what the heck's goin on here Dean."

Without facing the older man Dean answered the best he could. "Bobby…meet Sam."

* * *

"That's thin Dean. Real thin. The girl talks about a band-aid and suddenly she's your long lost sister?"

Dean could understand Bobby's reluctance to believe. It was an impossible scenario. What were the odds that Sam would, literally, run into him after all those years of searching.

"It's her Bobby. I know it's her."

He could tell the man was coming around though, even more so after they did a few tests. Bobby was adamant about it and Dean felt like an idiot for not doing them himself. There had been every possibility that the girl could've been a shifter or a demon and he hadn't done anything to check. His dad would kick his ass if he ever found out.

"What, this some kinda gut feeling or something? Cause you know how much stock I put into them boy."

Dean shook his head in amusement. "Maybe, something like that. I just…know. That girl in there is my baby sister Bobby."

Bobby watched him carefully and then glanced into the other room where Sam was sitting on the couch just staring off into the corner of the room. "What the hell's she doin?"

Dean followed his gaze. "I don't know. She was doing it in the motel too. She even started screaming at whatever she sees there."

"Sees there? You mean she's been hallucinating?"

"Yeah…and not just that either. Her personality changes on a dime too. Like one minute she's all calm and curious about things, like a little kid, and the next she's this dark, violent…hunter."

"A hunter huh…"

"I…don't know what to do Bobby. I mean, how do I help her?"

Bobby rubbed a hand over his face and then looked at Dean. "Well, for starters, you could get her to take a shower or something. She looks, and smells, like she hasn't bathed in weeks."

Dean laughed and stood up. "Good idea. Thanks Bobby."

"Sure kid. We'll figure this out."

Dean nodded and then started heading for the other room. He was halfway there when Bobby's voice stopped him. "You call your father yet?"

"No."

"Dean, if that is Sam, your dad deserves to know."

Dean whipped around in anger. "The hell he does! He gave up on her!"

"Don't be yellin at me in my own house boy."

He continued glaring but didn't say anything else.

"Look Dean, I know that you and your dad have yer issues, but the man deserves to know that his daughter is alive…if that really is Sam. You may not believe me Dean but your father is as messed up about Sam as you are."

Bobby made a good point but Dean was reluctant to accept it. Two years ago John Winchester gave up the search for Samantha and it made Dean want to punch the man. His father had said it was because they had no leads after years of searching and it was consuming their lives. They had to move on sometime…Sam was probably dead. Dean had disagreed, harsh words had been yelled, on both sides, and Dean had left. The two of them had only spoken a handful of times since then. But Bobby was right. John should be informed about Sam. First things first though, Sam needed to be cleaned up.

"Alright Bobby, I get it. But I'll call him later okay. Sam comes first."

Bobby nodded but Dean knew that if he didn't call John soon, Bobby would call the man himself. Without saying anything else he walked into the other room where Sam was still staring off into the corner. At least she didn't seem to be talking to the hallucination this time. He just wondered what it was that she was seeing. The look in her eyes said that it was nothing good.

"Hey Star. Can you hear me?"

Her eyes rolled around a little before settling on his face. "Dean."

It was a bit unsettling but he didn't let her see that it bothered him. "That's right. I was wondering if you wanted to get cleaned up. It can't be comfortable like that."

She tilted her head, as if not quite understanding, but then looked down at herself. She took in the mud stained jeans and the dirty, ripped, red t-shirt. "Yes."

Dean smiled and held out his hand. "Alright. Let's go. I'll show you where the bathroom is and find you something else to wear."

Sam nodded and reached out to grab his hand. She was halfway there when suddenly she froze, eyes widening in fear.

"Star? What's wrong?"

"I can't…I…No!" She screamed and her hands flew to her head in a vice like grip. "No! Stop it!"

Dean took a quick step backward, nearly falling over a footstool in the process, as she started freaking out. He watched in horror as Sam continued screaming at the top of her lungs.

"What the hell is going on?!" Bobby yelled as he came running into the room.

"I don't know! She was fine and then she just started…freaking out!"

"Well do something! She's _your _sister!"

Dean looked at Bobby in frustration before taking a step back toward Sam. "Sam, I need you to calm down!"

"Screaming at her ain't gonna help!"

Becoming even more frustrated, Dean did the only thing he could think of. He surged forward and embraced her in a tight hug. He held her so closely that she couldn't move. At first she struggled and continued the screaming, but little by little, the fight just seemed to leave her. Her whole body sagged against him and her head collapsed onto his shoulder. Dean was about to pull away when he heard her speak softly.

"I'm so sorry…"

Feeling completely overwhelmed Dean just continued to hold her. "It's okay Sammy…"

Silence filled the room after that. Dean could feel Bobby watching them and decided that they couldn't stay there forever.

"Hey Bobby, could you maybe find her something else to wear? I'm still gonna try and get her cleaned up before we let her rest."

"Sure. I'll start a bath up for her too."

"Thanks Bobby."

Dean heard the older man leave the room. He sighed and then went about trying to disengage himself from Sam. She was still a dead weight in his arms and for a moment he thought she had passed out, but then she started talking again.

"You…I know you…"

Dean froze. Maybe he'd heard wrong but…it sounded like she'd said she knew him. "What did you just say?"

Sam pulled away and looked at him with a frown on her face. All signs of her previous meltdown were wiped from her expression. These mood swings were starting to give him whiplash.

"Your smell…you smell like…" She trailed off looking slightly frustrated.

"I smell? Well I haven't taken a shower in a couple days, but who are you to judge? You smell like a garbage can."

She stared a him for a moment before a small smile appeared on her face. If it hadn't been clear to him before who she was…it certainly was now. That smile was all Sam.

"Why don't we go try to fix that huh. A nice warm bath, how's that sound?"

He pushed himself to his feet and held his hand out once more. This time…Sam took it.

Once Sam was safely in the tub, Dean headed out into the hallway and pulled out his phone. It was as good a time as any to speak with his father, plus he didn't want to be to far away if Sam had another episode. The only problem was that he had no idea how he was going to explain things. How do you tell someone that the missing daughter, that they had given up searching for, had been found? He sighed, took a deep breath and dialed. Time to put the family back together.

* * *

**_Just one more thing. Sadly it may be a little while before I can update due to the fact that I am moving and may not have a stable internet connection, but I will be back as soon as I can with another chapter. Thanks again for reading._**


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello everyone who's still following this story and if you are I am so grateful. I'm very sorry for the long delay in updating. I had a huge case of writers block but I think i'm back on track now. I hope you enjoy the new chapter and any reviews are greatly appreciated. _

* * *

The hallway seemed to stretch on forever. All the doorways on either side were firmly shut and locked, but if a person were to listen carefully, the sounds of scratching could be heard within each of them. As he walked he disregarded the sounds and headed for the last doorway on the right. He moved with a sense of purpose and authority which had been thoroughly earned. The door seemed to open on its own and he stepped through without incident and stared at the far wall with dull yellow eyes filled with disappointment.

Hanging there was a young man who had clearly been severely tortured. His flesh was covered with cuts and horrible burns that had been layered over one another many times. He was hanging upside down from the ceiling above and appeared to be unconscious.

The yellow eyed man absorbed all of this without flinching and took a few steps further into the room. The door slammed closed behind him and the noise seemed to disturb the poor man on the far wall.

"Good morning Jacob."

The hanging man flinched at the voice and opened his eyes to reveal soulless black orbs that took in the yellow eyed man with contempt, bordering on insanity.

"Sir." He mumbled out of dry, cracked lips.

"Sir? You choose to call me sir now? Oh Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. How you disappoint me. I've told you over and over again that you are to call me by my name. We've been through so much, you and I, that I believe a little familiarity is allowed, don't you?"

The man, Jacob, just continued to glare at the yellow eyed man. With a small sigh he walked all the way forward so that he was standing directly in front of Jacob. He was pleased when he noticed the small flicker of fear that crept up on the contempt in his eyes.

"Now then…shall we begin?"

As soon as the screaming began…the scratching stopped. One might see it as…respect, for a fellow prisoner. A moment of calm for someone suffering the same fate. Or…it could be that they wished to hear every last anguished cry, and revel in the suffering of the one who put them there. Either way…Jacob screamed and they listened in silence. He, like the rest of them, would never make it out alive.

* * *

The warm water was soothing in a way she hadn't felt in…her entire life, if she was being honest. The way the heat seeped into her very bones made her relax and feel at ease. It didn't take long for her to remember that she shouldn't let her guard down, ever, but by that time she no longer cared. It was strange…ever since breaking free she hadn't let herself have even a single moment of peace. That had been the purpose of escaping in the first place but-

_You don't deserve happiness after what you've done silly girl…_

_Remember who you are, who I made you…_

_No peace…_

"Shut up…"

Shifting in the water she lifted her leg and placed her foot on the side of the tub then grabbed a washcloth and dragged it over her pale skin. Dean had been right, she was filthy. It wasn't like she didn't know that but who could find the time when one was running for their life. As she cleaned up she took notice of the scars running up and down her leg. They were all self inflicted, _he_ hadn't ever left a mark on her, but she'd used them to remind herself of who she was.

_Who you are? You must be joking…_

_You are mine…_

_You always have been, and you always will be…_

The cloth was flying into the empty corner even before she realized what she was doing and his laughter echoed around the room.

_Mine…_

Despite what her mind was telling her, she wasn't his, not anymore. It was becoming harder and harder to focus on the world around her but that one fact was clear.

"I am me…whoever that is…"

That thought brought her mind back to Dean Winchester. He seemed absolutely adamant that she was his younger sister Samantha. It was strange. She'd never really given much thought to her past. All that had ever mattered was the present. One day at a time. But now…she might have had a family.

"Samantha…Samantha Winchester…"

It sounded strange on her tongue.

"Hello. My name is Samantha."

Her forehead crinkled into a frown. Samantha was to long. It sounded like an old lady name. Maybe she could shorten it somehow.

"Hello. My name is Sam."

A smile flitted across her lips. Sam was good. Sam worked. It was certainly a hell of a lot better than what she was previously called.

_What? I think Star is much prettier. My little Star…_

She suddenly felt very warm. Much warmer than the water should be. Looking down her eyes widened when bubbles started to form in the liquid and it was growing hotter by the minute. It felt like her skin was burning. The urge to get out overwhelmed her and she shot up out of the tub. Unfortunately she wasn't quite prepared for the wet floor.

"Ahh!"

Her foot slid out from under her and she fell, hard. As she landed her arm bent awkwardly and she could even hear the snap as the bone twisted and broke.

"Ahhhh!"

The door burst open and she was startled to see Dean Winchester standing there looking as startled as she was.

"Sam are you okay?!"

They stared at each other for a moment before Dean's arm shot up and covered his eyes. "Jesus, sorry!"

She was very confused for a second before realizing that she was completely naked. It didn't really bother her but apparently for Dean, it was quite awkward.

"Umm, are you okay?" He asked again with his eyes still covered.

"I think I broke my arm…"

His arm quickly lowered and he started forward. "How the hell did that happen?" But then he again realized that she was naked and his arm shot up once more. "Dammit…this is ridiculous."

She watched in fascination as Dean walked over to the closet and pulled out a towel. Then, eyes still averted, he walked over and carefully draped it over her body before finally looking at her. The concern she saw in his eyes is what made her uncomfortable. Nobody had ever looked at her like that before.

"Here, let me take a look at it."

She shifted the towel so it covered her breasts and let Dean see her arm. It was obviously broken and she couldn't believe she'd been so stupidly clumsy. If the water hadn't started boiling her alive…

"The water…"

"What?" He asked as he gently cradled her arm. It was…almost like he _cared_ that she was hurt.

"The water was boiling…"

He frowned in confusion before reaching up with his free hand to touch the water. His hand was in there for a few seconds before he retracted it and frowned at her. That certainly proved that the water was fine. _His_ laughter once again broke out around her.

_I'm sorry, I couldn't resist…_

Her hand clenched into a fist and she felt like punching something. Toying with her…always toying with her.

"Oww…" She moaned when pain shot up her arm.

"Oops…sorry." Dean seemed genuinely apologetic and released her arm. "Okay, so… I think I might have to take you to a doctor. It looks broken and we don't have the stuff here to take care of it. You okay with that Sam?"

He called her Sam again. It seemed very presumptuous of him considering they just met and she didn't completely believe the whole long lost sister thing. And going to a hospital could be problematic. It would significantly delay her for one, and it might also raise a few eyebrows considering she didn't exactly have any health insurance. As if noticing her hesitation, Dean tried to comfort her.

"It'll be fine okay. I've been to the place myself and have always come out with all my body parts."

She couldn't help but smile a little at that. His idea of reassuring someone was implying that they might lose an appendage? Maybe going wouldn't be so bad though. Travelling with a broken arm would be a hindrance anyway, so why not get it put in a cast or something. At least that way it wouldn't heal crooked or anything. Like she needed one more thing to make her look like a freak.

_I never thought you looked like a freak…you're beautiful…_

"I am a freak, and it's because of you."

"Sam…who are you talking to?"

She looked away from the yellow eyes and smiling teeth in the corner and focused back on Dean who was staring into the corner and obviously not seeing anything. Why would he? There was nobody there.

"No one. Never mind. Are we going?"

He looked confused as he turned back to her. "Going where?"

"To the doctor. Broken arm remember."

"Oh! Right…uh yeah. Just wait here okay. I'll go grab you some clothes and we can go."

Before she could even respond he was out the door. Once he was gone she looked down at the faded scar on her wrist. Dean. She didn't remember doing it but she did know that she was the one who carved it. After all…it was in her handwriting. It had always been a source of comfort during the…bad days. The days she wished she could forget…

_Why do you always want to forget? They weren't all bad…I made you strong didn't I? No one can beat you now…you're my shining star…my ace in the hole…_

"Stop calling me Star. You know how much I hate it. Always Star this and Star that. Bit repetitive, don't you think."

_What, me, repetitive? I don't think so…The only thing that's repetitive is you my girl._

Despite her best effort, she couldn't help but respond. "What do you mean by that?"

_His_ smile widened and he walked over to kneel down beside her on the floor.

_You always whine and complain about how horrible your life is, or was, but you did it didn't you…You chose to go along with it. You chose to drink it. And you chose to leave them behind. In the end my dear, you will always choose me…It is inevitable._

"Choices huh…you talk to me about choices…what a joke…"

_You know me better than anyone…I never joke when it comes to you…_

"Here you go Sam." Dean said as he walked back into the room. He was carrying a pair of grey sweatpants and a black ACDC t-shirt. She had no idea what ACDC was but it didn't really matter. Dean handed her the clothes and then stood there awkwardly. "So…umm…do you need any help, you know…"

She was confused for a minute before realizing what he was asking. "I can do it myself."

"Are you sure? Your arm…"

"I can do it."

Dean nodded and then left the room again. For the first time in a while she was actually, truly, alone and it was such a relief. _He_ so rarely left her alone. She knew of course, that _he _wasn't really there to begin with, but after the consistency of _his_ appearances it was getting harder to differentiate between reality and the hallucinations. They had been getting worse recently, the hallucinations, and sometimes she wouldn't come back to herself for days. She hated the memory loss but that was really the least of her problems. There was also the being hunted thing…and the fact that she was, quite literally, a monster of the very worst kind. She wondered if Dean would still want her as his sister if he found out the truth…

* * *

The hospital was loud. And crowded. And germ infested. It was a place that she did not want to be, but Dean kept insisting, despite the grumbling of Bobby, that she get checked out. It made her very uncomfortable considering how contaminated she was. It felt like being a lab rat again. Dean was with her the entire time while Bobby waited in the waiting room and it was, surprisingly, some comfort having him by her side.

"So. Broken arm huh. We can get that sorted. It will hurt but I'll do it as fast as possible to minimize the pain."

The doctor was young and he seemed friendly enough but she still didn't trust him. The way that he was watching her as he held her arm…it was unsettling.

"Don't talk much do you."

She narrowed her eyes at his condescension.

He just laughed and rested her arm atop the table in front of them. "Okay, so what color cast would you like young lady?"

"Treat me like a child again and I'll shove that pen right down your-"

"She'll have white!"

They both turned toward Dean who had placed a hand on her shoulder and was squeezing it slightly. Perhaps he didn't want her threatening the doctor…

"Yes," she said quietly, "white is fine."

Dean's grip relaxed and the doctor looked puzzled but he didn't say anything about it.

"Okay, white it is."

The whole process took about an hour and Dean had her sit out in the waiting room with Bobby while he took care of the paperwork. She felt uncomfortable with allowing him to take care of her but he was quite insistent. Looking down at her arm she tried to wiggle the fingers that were sticking out of the cast. Not much happened and she was disappointed.

"Hey. Girl."

Slightly startled she lifted her eyes and turned toward Bobby who was watching her with a wary gaze. "Yes?" She asked politely. The fact that he didn't trust her was somewhat amusing.

"What are you up to?"

She was puzzled. What did he mean 'up to'? She was only there because Dean wanted her to get her arm looked at. "I am not up to anything."

Bobby didn't look convinced. "You show up out of the blue with this broken, amnesia routine and have Dean do everything for you. Are you really his sister? Cause if you're just toying with him it'll be the last thing you ever do. You hear me?"

Of course she heard him. She wasn't deaf. Figuring that anything she said would be unconvincing, especially considering that she didn't fully believe Dean anyway, she said nothing. Bobby grumbled beside her but she was beginning to understand that that was just his personality. For some reason though, it was comforting knowing that Dean had someone looking out for him like that.

**_Boom! Crash!_**

The wall to her right suddenly burst outward in a hail of debris. The sound of it was deafening. Shooting up out of her chair she stumbled as she tried to get out of the way of the falling drywall. The dust was thick and it made breathing very difficult. Her eyes were locked on the giant hole in the wall and then she heard it. Growling. Realization hit her like a brick and before she could even think about it, her body was already moving. She sprinted out of the waiting room, down the hallway, past the gawking onlookers, and headed toward the front doors. If she could just make it outside. She couldn't let them get her. She was never going back…

"Sam! Wait!"

Dean's voice didn't even reach her as she hurried past the doors and out into the dark parking lot. The growling grew louder which only spurred her on faster. Thankfully the place was mostly deserted so there would be no collateral damage if they caught up to her. She knew what it would be like if they did catch her…she'd seen it with her own eyes more times than she could count.

It wasn't until she had crossed the parking lot and was in the trees beyond it that the sound disappeared. She slid to a stop and listened. Everything was quiet around her aside from her heart pounding in her chest.

"Calm down…calm down…" She whispered to herself.

"Sam!"

Dean's voice shot out of the darkness but it wasn't the comforting sound it had been before. Dean could be working with _him_. That's what it was. He had gotten her to stay in one place long enough for them to find her. How else could they have tracked her down? She was always so careful. Always moving, never leaving anything behind. She had to get out. She had to…get her things from the recreation center. She needed to get her things…she needed them…she needed it…it could help her get away…

_I'm coming sweetheart…_

_I'm coming…_

"No…no." Sprinting further into the trees she started heading for the building where she'd left everything. The place Dean had taken her from. It was a fair distance but she knew the way because of the recon she'd done before squatting there and she was very motivated. Dodging trees was simple enough and she made it there in record time.

When the rec center came into view a sense of relief washed over her and she pushed her legs even harder. No one was around so she managed to get in without anyone seeing. Keeping a low profile was something she was exceptionally good at. The door opened soundlessly, just like she'd left it, and she made her way into the building. Her things were kept in one of the back storage rooms and it didn't take her very long to find it. She'd only just reached the bag when she heard it again. The growling…

"No…please…"

_You know what you have to do…_

_They'll get you if you don't do it…_

She gently lifted the bottle from the bag and looked at it with a fearful gaze. She'd sworn she was never going to drink it again. She just wanted to be normal…

They were getting closer. Without a second thought she unscrewed the top of the bottle and downed it's contents. The power rushed through her and it was like the ultimate high. She spun around, ready to face her demons…but all she saw was Dean standing in the doorway, looking at her like a man who'd finally seen the truth.

* * *

_If anyone had trouble with the thoughts in this chapter please let me know and i'll try to fix it in the next one. Hopefully it wasn't to confusing._


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter! I tried to put a bit more description of Sam in this chapter because a guest wrote that it was a bit lacking. I hope this helps you guys picture her better (despite the fact that i'm terrible at writing physical descriptions). Anyway, enjoy and as always reviews are appreciated._

* * *

Cowering in the corner of the dimly lit room, Winnie couldn't stop crying. She'd woken up in the place a while ago and no matter how much she screamed, or cried, no one was coming to save her. She'd heard someone screaming earlier but everything was quiet now. In a way, that was even more terrifying. Winnie had no idea where she was or how long she'd been there. The last thing she remembered was walking to school with Beth and then…nothing. She wanted her mom…

"You won't be seeing her any time soon."

The voice came out of nowhere and scared her. She scurried out of the corner and into the center of the room. "W-who's there?" She whispered into the darkness.

"Don't freak out. I'm just like you. Welcome to hell."

The voice seemed to be coming from the far right side of the room and appeared to come from the other side of the wall. "Where…are we?"

"Don't know. They don't let you see. What's your name?"

"Um…Winnie. What's yours?"

"Pleased to meet you Winnie. My name is Jessica."

Suddenly a loud clanging could be heard outside of the room. It was close but not close enough to be coming from outside her own cell.

"What's that?! What's happening?!"

"Don't let them break you Winnie. If I don't speak to you again, remember that one thing. Don't let them break you. Good luck."

"Jessica?! Jessica!"

A loud bang was heard, almost like a door closing and then there was nothing but silence.

"Jessica?"

There was no answer and Winnie knew that Jessica was no longer there. She felt even more alone now than before. What had the girl meant by not letting them break her? Whatever it meant…it didn't sound good. Winnie crawled back into the corner and pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on top of them.

"Please…someone help me…"

No one answered.

* * *

To say Dean was shocked was an understatement. One minute he was walking back toward the waiting room, and the next he was sprinting through trees trying to find his mentally unstable sister who had just randomly freaked out and bolted from the hospital. He figured she was in the middle of another one of her strange episodes and without waiting for Bobby he had just…taken off after her. He'd just gotten her back, there was no way in hell he was letting her go.

"Sam! Wait!" He cried as she disappeared around another tree. He had no idea where she was going or what she was running from. He briefly wondered if she could even hear him. It felt like they were running for an eternity before suddenly he burst out into a wide open space. It took him a moment to realize where he was and when he finally did, he was very confused. "Why the hell are we back here?" He mumbled to himself as he watched Sam head into the recreation center he'd found her in. Figuring the why didn't really matter, Dean sprinted after her.

The place was as creepy as always but, after everything he'd already seen in life, it didn't bother him. He checked the room he'd found her in but she wasn't there so he had to start checking the other rooms. It was taking far to much time. Then he heard a sound, like something falling to the floor. He was moving even before he realized what he was doing. He ran until he reached one of the back rooms and rounded the corner. What he saw made his blood run cold.

"S-Sam…"

She was standing there, blood dripping from her mouth, almost as if she'd been drinking it. That wasn't even the worst part. Her eyes…his baby sister's eyes…were coal black. It lasted only a second before they were back to their normal hazel, but it was enough. "Jesus…" His hands were moving out of instinct, he pulled the gun he'd kept hidden in his waist band…and pointed it at her.

She tilted her head slightly and fixed her gaze on the weapon. She made no move to attack him and he wondered, if she did, would he be able to pull the trigger? The answer was simple. The gun dropped and he stood there defenseless.

"Not going to shoot Dean?"

Her voice was emotionless and once again it seemed like a different personality than the ones he'd already seen.

"This is the truth," She continued stoically, "My truth. You call me Sam. Your little baby sister Sam, but the _truth _is you have no idea who or what I am. Hell, I don't even know. So you should just go. I'm a can of worms you don't need to open and I don't want anything to do with you either. For all I know you're working for _Him_…and that is something I will not accept."

The speech was nice. It was full of truths and lies and there was a coldness in her voice he'd never heard before. There was however one truth she failed to mention, and that was the fact that she was his sister. She may doubt it but Dean knew for certain and the DNA test he'd had the hospital run would only prove it. That being the case…he couldn't just walk away. And the way she'd spoken of this, _Him,_ person…well, he had to find out who the bastard was. If he was hunting his sister…if he was the one who had taken her in the first place, then he would make damn sure she was safe. As for the whole blood drinking, black eyes thing…they'd figure it out together. But…maybe Bobby didn't have to be a part of it because he was sure the older man would freak out about it.

"Sorry, but no can do Sammy."

Her eyes widened a bit, maybe out of shock. "What?"

"I said no can do. One thing you should know about me is that I'm a stubborn son of a bitch. You're my sister whether you believe it or not and that means your stuck with me. Oh, and has anyone ever told you that you have wicked mood swings?"

Sam's eyes narrowed slightly and a cruel smile appeared on her lips. "Mood swings huh…" She brushed her shoulder length brunette hair back and took a small step toward him. "You think I'm having mood swings? I feel so sorry for you Dean. You're just far to pathetic. You lose your sister as a child and now your going to be killed by the person you think is her."

Without waiting for a response she lifted her unbroken arm and held her hand out toward him. For a moment nothing happened and then suddenly he was flying backward into the wall behind him.

"Ugh!" He groaned as he fell to the floor.

"I used to only be able to do this with demons but before I escaped I learned a new trick. I don't think I'll finish you that way though. I prefer using this."

Dean watched as Sam pulled a knife out of the bag sitting at her feet. She slowly started approaching but he found himself being unafraid. His sister was in there somewhere and whatever was left of her wouldn't let her kill him. He was absolutely certain of that.

"You're not gonna fight back? Well, it doesn't matter. As long as you could be working against me…I can't let you live. Goodbye Dean."

He sat there silently as the blade came for him. It was about an inch from his face when it froze…just like he knew it would. Looking up he saw Sam tightly clutching at her head with her cast covered hand and the knife was starting to shake. "Sammy?"

"Stop calling me that!" She screamed as she jerked herself away from him and collapsed against the far wall. He remained where he was, just watching her, to see what she would do next.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Sam continued screaming at the top of her lungs. If he didn't do something she was going to wake the whole damn neighborhood.

"Sam that's enough!" He yelled over her. As if that was some kind of trigger her screams just, cut off. The knife dropped from her hand and she became eerily silent.

"Sam?"

She looked completely drained. It was the first time that he was really able to see her as she was. Broken. He could find remnants of his little sister in the brown color of her hair, the hazel eyes that made him putty in her hands…and the soft features of her face that made her the spitting image of their dead mother. But that was it, only the physical characteristics remained the same. On the inside she was just…horribly broken. It was his first time realizing the extent of the damage and he realized how stupid he'd been to think she'd just accept what he was telling her.

"I'm sorry Sa-I mean…I'll stop, okay?"

Her eyes slowly traveled up toward his face and he was startled to see tears poring down her pale cheeks. "I don't know what to do anymore…I don't know what's real…I don't know who I am…"

Dean sat there across from her and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I know who you are. That's all that matters. I'll help you, okay? As for this whole blood drinking thing…well, it's friggin messed up but…we'll figure it out. I need you to trust me."

Sam gave out a shaky laugh and smiled grimly through her tears. "Trust? What's that?"

Without saying anything, Dean stood up and walked over toward her and held out his hand. "Come on. Let's get outta here."

She hesitated for a moment before shakily reaching for his hand. "I can't stay here Dean…I have to go…"

"Well, then we'll go. Tomorrow."

She frowned and looked about to protest but Dean knew that if he let her do that she'd end up convincing herself to leave him, so he decided to beat her to the punch.

"Don't say it okay. You need to rest. We'll go first thing tomorrow."

Sam didn't say another word as she was pulled to her feet. Dean didn't know if it was because she just decided to give up or if she was to tired to fight anymore. Either way he was glad that they were finally getting somewhere. As they were leaving though, she grabbed the bag that had been lying on the floor. The one she had taken the blood from. He briefly considered telling her to leave it but figured that wouldn't go over very well. In the end he decided to let it go for the moment…but in the back of his mind, he wondered what else she had in there…

* * *

Once they were out of the building he decided to take her back to Bobby's instead of the hospital because odds were that they would try and lock her up or something. He pulled out his phone to let the man know where they were and ask for a ride.

"Yeah. Sure. I'll come get ya. The crazy died down yet?"

"I don't know. She's not freaking out anymore if you call that progress…"

Bobby sighed and Dean could hear him getting into his truck.

"Bobby-"

"I know. I know. I'll be there in five."

Without waiting for a response, the guy hung up. It was Dean's turn to sigh. He made his way down to the nearest road and started heading in the direction of Bobby's. They'd be picked up along the way. Sam followed silently behind him and he couldn't help but wonder what the hell he was doing.

He had spent his entire life hunting creatures of the dark and killing them so the world would be a better place. It was kind of the only thing that kept him going after his mom was killed. Then when Sam was taken, well, things only got worse from there. And now here he was, not killing someone, who clearly had demonic abilities. Sam's eyes had been unmistakably black and she had thrown him against the wall with whatever powers she had. Who knew what other things she could do?

"Dean?"

He continued walking, lost in his thoughts, but then he felt a light tug on his arm and glanced over at her. She looked like a scared little kid. It was still hard for him to believe that she was nineteen years old…she looked so much younger.

"Yeah?"

"I'm…sorry I tried to kill you Dean."

He smiled despite himself. "It's okay. I won't hold it against you."

She didn't say anything but a soft smile appeared on her lips and Dean knew he was doing the right thing…even if nobody else did.

* * *

Thirty minutes later they were back at Bobby's and Sam was crashing on the living room couch. He couldn't help but watch her sleep and try to figure out what they were gonna do next. He'd told her that they would leave in the morning but he had no idea where they would go. As he watched her sleep he started getting annoyed at his father again. When he'd tried to contact John earlier, the man hadn't answered. He'd tried again when they got back to the house but there was still no answer.

"She still asleep?"

He turned to face Bobby who was standing in the doorway.

"Yeah."

"Any word from your dad?"

"No. The bastard still won't answer. How the hell am I supposed to tell him about Sam when he won't even answer his phone?"

Bobby looked over to Sam where she lay on the couch. "You still don't even know for sure yet."

"Bobby. She is Sam. I'm not gonna argue with you about this anymore. Anyway, in a few weeks the D.N.A. test I had the doc at the hospital run will prove it."

Bobby's eyes widened in surprise. "How'd you get'em to agree to that?"

"Bribery goes a long way." Sighing, Dean dragged a hand through his hair and turned to Bobby. "We're gonna head out in the morning."

Bobby looked skeptical. "Where are you planning on going?"

"Don't know. I'll try and get a hold of dad and then take Sam to him. Until then we'll drive around I guess. She seems to think someone is after her, so I think it would be better for her on the road."

They both looked over at the sleeping girl on the couch.

"You know, asleep, she doesn't look like a crazy person. And…I'll admit, she does bear a slight resemblance to your mom."

"Thanks Bobby."

"Anytime kid. But…are you really prepared to take care of her…like this? I mean, she has some serious issues Dean. Where the hell has she been for twelve years?"

Bobby did have a point. He wasn't exactly an expert in psychological disorders and there was also the issue of the demonic abilities. He kept that one to himself.

"Honestly? I have no idea. I'm gonna do it anyway though."

Bobby laughed and then turned to leave. "I figured you say that. Don't forget to try your dad again."

Dean shook his head and watched him go. He was extremely grateful for the man's help, but sometimes he could be a pain in the ass.

After Bobby was gone, Dean continued to watch his sister sleep. He was having trouble reconciling the…person, who had tried to kill him earlier, with the sweet kid lying on the couch. The more he thought about it, the more worried he became. Despite the fact that they had already tested her in various ways, she had still used abilities that a human being wasn't supposed to have. Those terrifying black eyes were haunting his mind. And the blood…

"Mmm…please no…please…"

Sam was mumbling in her sleep. He walked into the room and knelt down beside her. Her face was scrunched up in pain.

"Dean…"

He was slightly startled when he heard his name. Reaching out, Dean gently placed his hand on her forehead and brushed her bangs away from her face. "I'm here Sammy. I'm not goin anywhere."

* * *

It was a long night but morning eventually came. Dean had passed out on the chair across from Sam after finally managing to calm her down. He was woken by the smell of coffee and slowly opened his eyes.

"Holy shit!" He yelled and nearly fell out of the chair when he saw Sam's face right in front of him.

"Good morning Dean." She said nonchalantly with a smile. He stared blankly at her and then noticed that she was holding a steaming cup of coffee out to him.

"G-good morning…uh…"

"Sam."

He was again surprised. It was just the other night that she was freaking out when he called her that and now she was okay with it?

"But I thought you didn't want me to-"

"I've decided that I like the name."

Still smiling, she forced the coffee into his hand and stood up. She looked at him for a second before turning and heading for the kitchen. Dean sat there dumbly for a minute before Bobby suddenly entered the room.

"What's the stupid look on your face for?"

He turned confused eyes toward the man. "Sam just brought me coffee."

Bobby laughed and pulled his baseball cap onto his head. "Yeah, well she's been up for two hours. Made me bacon and eggs. I think there's some out there for you too."

Dean couldn't really think of anything to say to that. Sam made breakfast?

"I gotta head out Dean."

Shaking off his stupor he tried to focus on Bobby. "Sorry, what?"

"I said, I gotta head out now. I probably won't be back before you leave so call me when ya can okay."

"I will Bobby. And thanks again for everything."

"Yeah yeah. Just take care of yerself and that girl in there. You need anything, you let me know."

"Will do. Oh, and if you hear from dad let me know."

"Sure. Bye Dean. Bye Sam!"

"Bye Bobby!" Sam yelled from the kitchen. Dean just shook his head and watched Bobby leave. The second the man was gone Dean got up and headed for the other room. Inside the kitchen he found Sam standing at the stove wearing a flowery apron. She was also humming a song he couldn't recognize.

"What are ya doin in here Sam?"

She turned to him with a smile and he was once again struck by her resemblance to their mother. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail and on her right cheek was a little bit of flour. It was…perfect. The girl from the previous night was nowhere to be found.

"I made you eggs Dean. And I tried to make pancakes but we didn't have chocolate chips so I scrapped that idea. Oh! And I also made toast too. Sit down."

She was so excited that he couldn't refuse. He sat at the table and watched in amazement as a huge heaping plate filled with eggs, toast and bacon landed in front of him.

"Wow. This looks great Sam."

She smiled even wider before sitting down opposite him and staring at him, which he found really weird but tried to ignore, because she looked so happy.

"So, uh, why don't you eat something too Sammy?" He asked as he shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

"I already ate and it's Sam."

"Oh okay…wait, what?"

"S.A.M. not Sammy."

"Oh, uh, sure. Sam."

The conversation seemed to die after that but she appeared to be pretty content just…watching him eat. Suffice it to say, he ate as fast as he could.

Forty minutes later he was done and they had tag teamed the dishes. He washed and Sam dried due to her cast issue. The entire time she had still been humming that same song from when she'd been cooking. A part of him had been tempted to ask her about it but she just looked so peaceful that he didn't want to disturb her.

"Are we going now?" She asked abruptly as he put the last plate away. Turning to face her, he could see the underlying nervousness in her eyes.

"Yeah Sam. We're leaving now. Why don't you grab your bag and the one I packed for you and bring them out front. I'll get my stuff and meet you out there okay."

She nodded in understanding and headed off. Dean sighed and glanced around the kitchen. He hated doing domestic crap but doing it with Sam…was pretty nice. He walked out of the room with a smile on his face.

He'd packed his things the night before so all he had to do was grab them from upstairs and head out. He locked the doors and went to meet his sister. She was standing by the car with a faraway look on her face and his stomach sank. What if she was about to lose it again? But then she heard him and turned to him with a smile on her face. He immediately relaxed.

"Hey Sammy, ready to go?"

She frowned slightly when he said _Sammy_, but she nodded anyway.

"Alright then." He walked over, opened the trunk, and put all of their bags inside. Sam watched him silently but he could feel her unease. The need to leave was rolling off of her in waves. He gestured for her to get in the car and she practically ran. He walked over to his side, got in, and started the car. It was then that he noticed she had started to relax a little. He was becoming more concerned about what she was running from by the minute. Deciding to focus on one thing at a time, Dean turned on the music and headed out of the driveway. In the back of his mind he couldn't help but wonder what he was getting himself into.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hello everyone, sorry for the ridiculous delay on updating. I had a lot going on but hopefully I can start updating sooner now. I hope you guys like it. Oh, and if the text in this chapter is too small I apologize. I blame it on my new computer. Hopefully i'll have it fixed by the time I post the next chapter._**

* * *

She awoke slowly, and for the first time it was peaceful. No nightmares, no screaming…no memories. All that could be heard was music in the background. It was something vaguely familiar, but she couldn't quite place from where. Opening her eyes slightly she could see a window, and the scenery outside was just flying by. Normally, she would be extremely worried about waking up in a place she knew nothing about, but…the way the sun was shining down on her face, and the overwhelming sense of nostalgia she was experiencing, every part of her was just…content.

"Morning sleepyhead."

She jumped slightly at the unexpected voice and whipped her head around to find its source. Sitting there, in what appeared to be the driver's seat of a car, was Dean. He looked kind of tense and she briefly wondered if that was her fault.

_Of course it's your fault. Ever since meeting him you've been one big ball of crazy. The guy probably thinks you're going to stab him. You already tried to once…_

She flinched slightly at the memory before plastering on the most sincere fake smile she could muster. She didn't really know why she was pretending to be okay…she barely even knew Dean, but…she felt like she'd put him through a lot in the past few days, and she liked him enough to want to give him a break from her issues. The fact that he hadn't yet run screaming from her…was very strange.

"Hello Dean."

After a brief searching look, Dean smiled back at her. She was glad she could put him at ease, even if just a little.

"Uhh, so how did you sleep?" He asked awkwardly.

Thinking back, she was surprised to realize that she'd slept…well. In fact, for the first time, it wasn't only the absence of nightmares but the fact that she'd slept at all. For the past twelve years there'd always been so much noise.

The scratching…the screaming…the voices in the dark…

"Sam?"

She shook herself out of the memories and smiled again. "I slept great Dean."

He looked skeptical but, thankfully, he didn't comment on it.

"That's good Sam. I'm glad." He said as he turned back to stare out the windshield. She decided to take some time to check him out while he wasn't paying attention to her. Not in a sexual kind of way of course. She wasn't attracted to him…in any sense of the word…which was definitely a good thing considering they were, apparently, siblings. She smiled slightly at the thought. Wouldn't that be just perfect? Being attracted to your brother…yuck.

Instead, she looked deeper, at the person underneath the green eyes and stubble. The person who had lost his sister at a young age, who hadn't spoken a word to her about his parents, who knew about things he shouldn't know about…the creatures that went bump in the night.

Dean was an enigma. All her years in hell, she had never seen such fierce loyalty before. He was willing to risk so much for her even though he couldn't be sure she was who he thought she was. And the way he had looked at her after she'd revealed a part of the monster within…she had been certain that he'd either try to kill her or run away but…he still hadn't abandoned her…

_He's just manipulating you into a false sense of security. He knows what you're capable of now…he just needs you to let your guard down…_

Manipulation was a main staple of _Azazel's school for gifted children_. That was his name…her yellow eyed creator. He taught her many things…things she wished she could forget. If he ever caught her…

She shuddered at the thought and tried to focus. Manipulation was her game, not Dean's.

Realizing that she would need more information to really get a solid read on Dean, she turned her attention to her surroundings.

They were in a car, a black Chevy Impala, if she remembered correctly. Dean seemed very proud of it for some reason and she figured it had something to do with sentiment. People tended to get attached to inanimate objects. Why that was, was something she didn't understand. Maybe it was because she'd never had anything to become attached to. Everything she'd ever cared about was taken from her bit by bit…

"So Sammy, you hungry at all? Or have to use the bathroom? We've been driving for a few hours now so if you need a break just let me know okay?" Dean asked suddenly.

"It's Sam." She said, before realizing what he'd just asked her. She turned to face him with a disbelieving look. "You're asking _me_ when to stop?" Nobody had ever asked her what she wanted before. It was always do this, or do that. Always on his time table…she had no choice.

He looked at her like she'd suddenly grew another head. "Well, yeah. I mean, if you need to stop just tell me. I don't want you having an _accident_ in my car after all."

"Accident?"

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Seriously? I mean, I don't want you taking a piss in the vehicle."

_Oh_, she thought, feeling utterly stupid.

"Oh." She said out loud before realizing that she did indeed have to stop. "I have to stop."

Dean looked at her again before bursting out laughing. She stared at him as he laughed and couldn't help but feel even more nostalgic. Something about the sound of it…was very familiar.

* * *

_Sammy I need you to hold this okay?_

_Okay Dean._

_Don't drop it okay?_

_Okay._

_Now just wait right here for a second while I go give this to dad. I'll be right back._

_Okay._

_Thump! Splash!_

_Sam are you okay?!_

_I'm sorry Dean, I dropped it…_

_You…dropped…it…ha…haha…hahahahahaha!_

_Hey! Dean! You're mean!_

_I'm…sorry but, hahaha, you look so funny! _

_Dean!_

_How'd you manage to dump an entire bottle of sparkle paint on yourself anyway?_

…_A bug flew by and I tried to splash it…_

…_A bug? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

_Dean!_

* * *

"Dean…" She mumbled as Dean finally seemed to calm down a bit. He looked over at her with a smile and seeing it…nearly brought her to tears for some reason. Quickly choking them back, she plastered her fake smile back on and tried to pretend like she knew what he was laughing about.

"Sorry for laughing." He said with one last chuckle. "I just, kinda…never mind…" He said, letting the conversation die. A moment of awkward silence enveloped the car and she realized that he didn't seem to be stopping.

"Well, are we going to stop? Cause I really don't want to _piss_ in your car."

Dean stared at her for a moment before bursting out laughing again.

She figured that this was definitely going to be a thing with him…and strangely…she kind of liked it.

* * *

Watching Dean devour a piece of pie was like watching a car accident, in the sense that she just could not look away. She'd never seen someone so happy. She didn't really understand his love for the dessert. Sure it tasted good, but so what? Figuring she was never going to get it, she looked down at her tiny bowl of ice cream and smiled. It was chocolate. She hadn't had chocolate ice cream in…longer than she could remember. Why would anyone choose pie over ice cream?

They had stopped at a small diner called Sally's and it was a nice quiet place with really delicious food. Dean had eaten a burger that was bigger than his head and she'd had a salad. Dean had made fun of her for it but she'd eaten enough animal flesh to last a lifetime.

"You just gonna stare at it, or are you gonna eat it?" Asked Dean around a mouthful of pie. She stared at him for a moment before snickering slightly. Dean was a funny guy.

"What?" He said, finally swallowing his food.

"Oh, nothing." She said as she slowly lifted her spoon to her mouth. The ice cream tasted as delicious as it looked. She was just about to take another bite when it suddenly started melting. She stared down at it as the ice cream slowly became soup in the bowl. Then it started boiling rapidly, and she could only watch in fascination as it started swirling around in clockwise circles.

"Sam?"

Dean's voice didn't even register as a face suddenly appeared in the liquid. Her eyes widened in horror before she screamed, swiped the whole thing off the table, and jumped up out of their booth.

"Sam?!"

She was running again. Always running. This time though, she only made it to the bathroom. Once there she locked the door and ran into one of the stalls before throwing up the ice cream she'd just consumed.

_Aww, did I just ruin your happy little dessert moment with your long lost big brother? Soooo sorry…_

"Go away…" She mumbled while hovering over the toilet in case anything else had to come up. "Please…just go away…"

_But why would I want to do that? We were best buds for twelve years beautiful girl, and I don't intent to let you go now. _

"Sam! Open the door!"

Dean's voice was yelling from outside the bathroom door. She could picture the worry on his face and see the people swarming around him, probably wondering what was going on. Pulling herself out of the stall, she made her way over to the mirror above the sink. Staring into it, she suddenly found herself trying to find a resemblance to the man who, apparently, felt so strongly toward her. A part of her was desperate for it. Just that little thing that proved Dean was her brother…that she'd finally found her true family.

Was she really Samantha Winchester? Their hair color was similar. They had the same shaped eyes…maybe. It could just be wishful thinking. All alone in that room…the name carved into her skin…was Dean really the family that she'd always hoped she had? Or was this entire thing a huge mistake? It could all be just another one of his tricks. Sending some Good Samaritan to her in order to trick her into believing she'd gotten away. Her mind was always tormenting her…she couldn't even eat ice cream in peace.

Her eyes drifted slightly, over toward the tiny window on the far side of the room.

_You can make it…now's the time beautiful girl…I taught you to sever ties, never let anyone weigh you down…he won't even know you're gone until your states away…_

Pushing his voice away, she tried to think. Before the fear, and the pain. Before the blood, and the screaming…before she became a monster…was there a boy who took care of her? A boy who loved her and who she loved in return?

* * *

_Don't be scared Sammy. It's okay. I'm right here._

_But…but what if it comes back?_

_It won't. Remember what I told you?_

_That as long as you're here, no monsters will get me?_

_That's right Sammy. Besides, I checked under the bed five times._

_Okay…_

…_Still scared?_

_Yeah…_

_Okay, shove over._

_What?_

_I said shove over. I'll sleep with you tonight to make sure you're safe._

_Really Dean?_

_Really Sammy._

…_I love you Dean._

_I love you too Sammy._

* * *

"Sammy…" She looked back into the mirror. "Samantha Winchester." She thought about everything that had happened the last few days. The strange memories, the fact that Dean hadn't given up yet…and she'd given him plenty of reasons to do so. He genuinely believed that she was his sister…there had to be a reason…right?

"Sam, please open the door! Get a freakin manager over here already and get this damn door open!"

"Maybe I really am Samantha Winchester…" A tear fell down her cheek as she stared at herself. She was slightly shocked by the strange reaction. She hadn't cried…since the day she'd awoken in hell…

_That's a lie! You stopped being that worthless child when I rescued you! You are mine! And you always will be!_

"Shut up!" She screamed at the empty room, her voice reverberating off the walls. As if reacting to her words, his face appeared in the mirror. The same thin features…the same yellow eyes that had appeared in her ice cream bowl…the same face that had been her devil for too long. Without a second's hesitation, her fist connected with the glass with all the force she could muster. She didn't feel the sting of the glass cutting her skin. All she felt was…utter satisfaction.

"Sam!" Dean yelled again as the bathroom door was suddenly wrenched open. He was at her side in moments looking from the broken mirror, to the glass all over the floor, before finally resting on her mutilated hand.

She wasn't quite sure what he was going to say and figured she should probably apologize, again, for freaking him out. But before she could say a word…Dean blew up.

"What the hell is the matter with you?! Look at what you did to your hand! I swear to God Sam, if you ever do anything like that again I'm gonna kick your ass!"

She stared at him, slightly shocked, and then a moment later the same look of disbelief appeared on his face as well. It would appear that Dean couldn't quite believe he'd just yelled at her.

They both stared at each other, not quite knowing what to do, before suddenly…she lost it completely.

"Haha…Hahahahahaha!"

Dean's eyes widened even more in surprise, and it only fueled her laughter. It was so bad in fact, that tears started streaming down her face and she clutched at her stomach with her cast covered hand. It felt so good though…to finally laugh. It was like some sort of release for her. And it wasn't just his face that had her losing it. The whole exchange was just so…familiar. That was the sort of thing normal siblings did. One screwed up and the other threatened violence, but deep down it was just out of worry.

"Sam, are you…okay?" Dean said hesitantly as he watched her continue to lose it. She couldn't help it, his expression was just too funny, and she was just feeling so…happy.

"I…I'm…sorry…" She finally managed to stutter out between giggles. Dean shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

"It's…fine, I guess. You really had me worried though…"

She started to sober up immediately. Scaring Dean was something she was going to have to try to do less of. Giving him a heart attack wouldn't be good for either of them.

"Well, whatever. Let me check out your hand." He said as he held out his own hand toward her. She slowly placed her hand in his and watched as he gently examined it. Now that she was actually looking closer at him, it was pretty apparent that Dean needed a break. He looked exhausted.

"You look tired Dean."

He laughed mirthlessly as he continued looking down at her hand. "Yeah, well, it's been a rough couple of days."

_He means you are literally stressing him into an early grave…_

"I know what he means!" She yelled, startling Dean into squeezing her wounded appendage_. _"Oww!"

"Ah, Jesus! Sorry!" Dean let go immediately and took a step back.

Things seemed to be going from bad to worse…and then she saw all the people standing in the doorway…including a very pissed off looking manager.

_Circus freak…_

Clenching her wounded hand into a fist, she glared at them. "What the hell are you all looking at?"

Most of the people immediately scurried away but the manager stayed.

"Excuse me, but who is going to pay for this mess?! And you've scared away all our customers!"

Dean sighed in annoyance. "Sam, can you go and sit in the car while I take care of this."

"But-"

"Please Sam?"

Figuring she'd caused Dean enough stress for the day, she nodded and then started heading for the door.

"Oh! Wait Sam!"

She stopped and turned to look at him, only to have a wad of paper towels thrown in her face. "Hey!"

"Just put them on your hand until I can take care of it."

She looked down at them before gently placing them on her still bleeding hand. Without another word she headed out to the car.

* * *

_Do you think Dean is going to drop you off at the next rest stop now? After all, you just made a total fool of yourself. Plus you left him to clean up your mess._

"He won't."

_How do you know that? Are you suddenly a Dean expert? You just met the moron a few days ago._

"He's not a moron. And…I just know."

_You can't seriously be believing that crap about being his sister are you? Grasping at straws my dear…_

"I'm not grasping anymore…"

It was strange. The moment she started to believe…everything just felt…easier somehow. _His_ words didn't seem to have the same effect as before. Sam wasn't entirely sure why, but it didn't really matter. She smiled a little as she realized that she was now thinking of herself as Sam.

"What are you smiling about?"

Sam smiled even wider when Dean approached from behind. "I don't know."

Dean gave her an odd look and then headed for the back of the car. "Okay…"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm grabbing the first aid kit to take care of your hand. Does anything feel broken?"

Sam flexed her hand a little. She knew from many past experiences that it wasn't broken. All she needed was a…bandage…

* * *

_Sammy, I need you to do something for me okay?_

_She tore her eyes away from her big brother lying on the sofa…bleeding. "Daddy?"_

_He looked down at her with comforting eyes. "It's okay sweetheart. Dean is gonna be fine. I promise. But we're out of bandages and I need you to run down to the store to grab some more. Do you think you can do that?_

_She glanced back over at Dean who looked like he was in a lot of pain. "I-I think so…"_

_That a girl. There's some money in daddy's wallet. Do you remember how to get there?_

_It's at the end of the street on the left hand side…right daddy?_

_That's right sweetheart. And remember don't talk to strangers and come straight back. Dean is counting on you._

_Okay daddy. I'll be right back Dean._

_Hello honey, how can I help you today?_

_She looked up at the scary man at the counter and held up her box of bandages. "I-I need these for Dean."_

_He stared down at her like he thought she was lying and she grew afraid that he wouldn't let her buy them even though her big brother needed them._

…_Okay then. That's three dollars and fourteen cents._

_She smiled a little and carefully counted out the money daddy had given her. She even had a little left over. "Thank you." She said, remembering her manners. The scary man smiled down at her and she realized that he wasn't as scary as she thought._

_She tried to hurry. Dean needed her to hurry. She was almost home._

_And then he appeared…_

* * *

"Dean?" She whispered as the memories continued to bombard her mind.

"What?" He asked after he'd closed the trunk and made his way over to where she was seated in the passenger seat. "Is it broken?"

She looked up at him as if seeing him for the first time. Tears started rolling down her cheeks and Dean looked extremely worried.

"Sam? What's wrong?"

Without saying a word she launched herself up and into his arms. The first aid kit fell to the ground as she practically jumped on him.

"Whoa! What…what are you doing?!"

"I remember you…I…remember you…"

Dean froze and for a moment Sam believed she'd done something wrong. But then…

"You remember?" He whispered into her hair and the hope in his voice was hard to miss.

"I remember you were hurt…I was…supposed to get you some bandages…right?"

She could feel Dean start to shake and she was about to pull away, when his arms suddenly wrapped around her tightly.

"Do you really remember me?" He said quietly, voice shaking as much as he was.

Sam was about to answer when she suddenly felt lightheaded. It was a feeling she knew well and she knew what was coming next. Her vision started to darken and her legs gave out.

"Whoa! Sam?!" Dean yelled as he barely caught her as she fell to the ground. He looked down at her in concern…but she could only smile.

"I remember you…" She whispered as her vision darkened completely and she lost consciousness. The last thing she saw was the worried eyes of her big brother.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Well, here's the next chapter! Hope you guys like it! And as always, please review. I love hearing what everyone thinks!_**

* * *

Silence. Winnie never knew silence to be a torture…but that's what it was. She was even starting to wish for the scratching again…but that had stopped quite a while ago.

Time had passed in the tiny room that was her cell, of that she was certain. How much time? She had no idea. No one had spoken to her since Jessica had been taken away and once the scratching stopped…it felt like she was the only one in the entire place. The only contact she'd received was in the form of a tiny door opening in the bottom of her cell door and a plate of food being pushed through. She couldn't see who it was that gave it to her and at first she'd been afraid to eat it. What if it was poisoned or something? In the end though, her hunger got the best of her and she'd taken a bite. It tasted a bit weird but so far nothing felt off so she'd eaten the whole thing.

That had been a while ago too. Winnie had tried making her own noise…singing, humming, and even talking to herself…but she soon grew tired of it and it wasn't helping to stave off the loneliness and fear anyway.

She now found herself sitting up against the cold wall of her cell, wishing that Jessica would come back at least.

Winnie couldn't stop thinking about what the strange girl had said about not letting her captives break her. It sounded terrifying. What were these monsters planning on doing with her?

_Bang! Creeeak… Clack…clack…clack…_

Footsteps could be heard outside her cell. Winnie's hands started shaking and tears started streaming down her pale cheeks. She pulled her knees up to her chest and tried to make herself as small as possible.

The door suddenly shuddered eerily and a second later it swung open. Wide eyed and terrified, Winnie watched in horror as a man entered the room. It wasn't the person that had taken her, no…this one was much worse because…he looked almost…normal. Almost like he could be the mailman or a janitor. He smiled down at her with shining white teeth and despite his normalcy, there was a sinister air about him. But the worst part…the part that made her want to scream was…his glowing yellow eyes staring at her like he was about to crush her in the palm of his hand.

She shoved herself back farther against the wall and shook in fear. "N-no…please…please don't…I wanna go home…I wanna go home…I want my mom…"

His smile widened even more and he took a few steps into the room. "I'm sorry Winnie dear, but your mommy can't save you from this I'm afraid."

He knelt down in front of her and gently ran his large hand over her short black hair. "Nothing can…"

His touch was like ice and Winnie shuddered in fear.

He grabbed her chin and yanked her face upward so that she had no choice but to look into his cold yellow eyes. "I need a temporary replacement you see, and considering you were almost my first choice in the beginning…it's time for your training to begin."

"T-temporary?" She questioned softly, locking onto the one word that gave her a tiny bit of hope that he may yet let her go.

Seeming to read her mind he smiled even wider. "Yes. Temporary." He released her and stood up again before holding out his hand to her. "If you help me get my little Star back…you can go back home to mommy dearest."

Winnie looked from his eyes to his hand and…

She made her decision.

* * *

As he paced the dingy motel room, Dean fluctuated between worry, anger, and frustration. That had pretty much been his mind set ever since finding Sam in the first place, but now, as he looked over at her unconscious form on the bed, he couldn't help but feel all of them about a hundred times worse.

She'd been out for over two hours now and he was seriously considering calling a doctor. It looked like she was just sleeping but he couldn't be sure…especially after the freak out she'd had before she'd collapsed.

He still remembered the terrified look on her face when she'd stared into her ice cream bowl…

"What the hell did you see Sammy?" He muttered as he ran a hand through his hair.

The first thing he'd done after she'd passed out was throw her in the back of the car. He'd done it as gently as possible of course, but they'd been in a bit of a rush. He'd told the manager that he had to go and grab some cash from his sister to repair the mirror, but then he hadn't exactly followed through with the payment. He still had trouble believing the guy actually thought he was gonna come back.

They couldn't exactly stay in the area after that so he just drove, all the while keeping one eye on Sam in the backseat. She didn't even move the entire time. In a way…seeing her so still…was even worse than the craziness she'd brought into his life. Sam wasn't supposed to be like that. He remembered the little girl who'd always run after him, squealing in delight. She was nineteen now…a completely different person. He didn't know anything about her, what she'd been through, what she was still going through. He just…didn't know what to do.

He decided then and there, that when she woke up, they were going to have a serious talk. He needed to know what was going on in that head of hers. No more secrets. He wasn't going to be able to do anything to help her if he had no idea what was going on.

Eventually, tired of walking in circles, Dean dropped down onto the bed opposite Sam and watched her sleep. He still couldn't get over the fact that she was really there, right in front of him. It still seemed like some sort of dream. Seeing her like that, looking so peaceful, he could almost see the little girl he used to know.

With a sigh, he pulled out his phone. With nothing else to do but wait, he decided to try calling his father again. The fact that he couldn't reach his dad was starting to worry him. John Winchester wasn't exactly reliable but, eventually, he would always call Dean back. He hadn't been able to reach the man for two days and that just didn't sit right.

Once again he got nothing but a voicemail message.

"He won't answer you."

"Ah!" He yelled in surprise as Sam suddenly spoke. He jumped up, leaving his phone on the bed, and ran over to her. "Sam?! Are you okay?"

She blinked slowly and looked at him with calm, slightly detached, eyes. It was even more disturbing than the stillness. It kind of reminded him of when she attacked him back in the rec center.

"Sammy?" He asked cautiously, unsure of her reaction. He was getting kind of tired of having to walk on eggshells all the time…not quite sure what would set off one of her episodes.

"He won't answer you Dean." She answered in a tone void of emotion.

"What? What do you mean?"

Without answering, Sam pushed herself up into a sitting position and looked around the room. She blinked slowly again and then focused on him.

"Sam?" He was really starting to become concerned now. "Sam, I need you to talk to me here."

She stared at him a moment longer before smiling sadly. "I'm sorry Dean."

"What are you sorry for?" He asked in confusion, unease settling within his gut.

"This."

He was about to question her again when suddenly her fist shot out and collided with the side of his face. He toppled over backward from the unbelievable force behind the blow and landed hard on his back on the floor.

He barely had time to get his bearings before she was standing over him with that same blank look on her face.

"S-Sam? What are you-"

"I'm sorry Dean."

The last thing he saw was her foot coming down on his face.

* * *

"Uugh…" Dean groaned as consciousness slowly returned. He felt like he'd been hit with a baseball bat or something. His head was killing him. He cracked an eye open and was a little concerned when he realized he couldn't see anything. His other eye shot open and it took him a minute to realize that it wasn't him…it was just dark out. A sense of dread settled in his stomach when he realized that though. Why was it dark out?

"Shit!" He yelled when he remembered. Dean shot up into a sitting position, which was a huge mistake considering he was suffering from a concussion. He immediately turned to the side as his burger from earlier came back up...all over the carpet. "Uugh…" He groaned again as his brain pounded in his skull. He could also feel something wet dribbling down the left side of his face. Probably from when Sam had stomped on it.

He sat there for a minute, trying to get control of his body, before slowly pushing himself to his feet. He stood there, wobbling slightly, before trying to find the light switch. Just as he flicked it on he realized his mistake. The light cut through his head like a knife and before he could stop it…he threw up again.

"Dammit…" He cursed as he quickly turned the light off. His head was pounding even worse now and he could feel the nausea trying to make yet another appearance. Standing there in the dark he just let himself settle down.

Finally, taking a deep breath, Dean tried to sort out what had happened. Sam had knocked him out and…

"Sam…" He muttered when he realized he couldn't hear anyone else and was now alone in the motel room. She was gone…

He'd lost her again…

"Dammit!" He screamed into the empty darkness as he felt the familiar pain of losing his sister settle within him. It was like twelve years ago all over again. He didn't understand what had happened. She had told him she remembered him…he thought she was getting better.

He stood there fuming for a few minutes, letting the despair wash over and through him, before taking another deep breath. He was not going to let this happen again. He'd found her once…he could do it again.

Ignoring the throbbing in his head, he flipped the light on once more and forced the nausea away. With renewed determination Dean took a look around the room trying to find any clues as to where she could have gone. He noticed that both beds were made, which was weird. Why the hell would she make the beds before she left? And it looked like Sam had taken his phone because it was no longer lying where he'd left it.

"The phone!" He yelled suddenly in triumph. If she had his phone he could track her. With a smile plastered on his face, Dean reached for his car keys, intending to go and buy a phone he could use, when he realized that they were no longer in his pocket. Thinking he may have put them somewhere else and just forgot, Dean searched the rest of the room…they were nowhere to be found.

"No way…"

Bolting from the room he found himself face to face with…an empty parking spot. Sam had taken his car.

"Dammit Sam!" He yelled out into the darkness.

Now he was going to have to steal a ride…

* * *

"She knocked you out and stole your car…"

"Yes Bobby. How many times do I have to say it?"

"Sorry Dean, but how the hell did you expect me to react? Give you a lolly pop and tell you everything is gonna be okay?"

"I could do without the sarcasm at least…"

Dean was becoming more and more annoyed as he drove. It wasn't just because Sam had knocked him out and stolen his car, no, it was also because of where she appeared to be headed.

"Anyway Dean, you say she's headed to Lawrence?"

"Yeah…or in that general direction anyway." He answered softly. Dean had never wanted to go back…to the place where his mother was killed. It held nothing but terrible memories. Over the years he'd tried to forget the pain and now he was being forced to confront it. It was where his father had become a different person, the place where their lives were irrevocably changed forever.

What he really wanted to know though, was why Sam was going there in the first place.

"Do you think she remembers what happened there? Maybe she just wants to see the place where she was born."

"I doubt it Bobby. You didn't seen her face right before she hit me. It wasn't the face of someone looking to rediscover their roots."

Dean remembered the dead look in her eyes. Sam had looked utterly hopeless. It was almost like she'd lost the will to…fight. And what had she meant when she said their father wouldn't answer? It was like she knew where John was and the way she'd said it made him feel like she also knew that something bad had happened to him…

"Have you heard anything from dad?"

"No. I've called a few times but he isn't answering. That doesn't necessarily mean anything Dean. He's been known to ignore calls when he's on a hunt."

"Yeah…" Dean half-heartedly agreed. He knew what Bobby said was true but the feeling he'd had earlier, that something was seriously wrong, wouldn't go away. And it had only intensified after his brief conversation with Sam.

"Well, anyway Dean. Do you want me to head out to Lawrence? I can leave right now."

"No Bobby. I can handle this. Just let me know if you hear anything from dad alright."

"Sure thing Dean. Be careful ya idjit."

"Will do Bobby."

Dean hung up and stared out the windshield of the shitty truck he'd jacked. It was a long road to Lawrence, Kansas and he had a lot going through his mind. Why did Sam do what she did? Why was she going back to that place? Would he be able to catch her before she took off again? Where the hell was their dad?

"Dammit…" He mumbled for the umpteenth time since he woke up. Why couldn't anything be easy? Any progress he seemed to make with Sam would disappear in a second and it was pissing him off. Maybe he would have to tie her down to get any damn answers out of her.

"Yeah, that would be perfect Dean…" He mumbled to himself. "Tie up the girl with the mental issues."

He shook his head at his own stupidity and sighed in frustration.

In reality, at the moment, he wasn't even that mad at her. The real problem was that he was having trouble dealing with the fact that he was heading for the place he promised himself he would never go back to. Lawrence was where he'd spent the first four years of his life. He remembered enough of it for it to have changed him…and most times it wasn't for the better. But Sam was only six months old when it happened, so he couldn't help wondering how she remembered it. She barely remembered him…so how did she remember that place?

He sighed again. Either way, the most important thing, was getting there in time to stop her from vanishing out of his life again.

That was one thing he would not allow to happen. He was never going to let her go again. He'd find her, tell her that she threw a good punch, and then they'd move on. Well, that was what he hoped anyway. Odds were, that things were not going to be that easy considering their track record up till now.

Eventually Dean decided that thinking was really getting him nowhere. He turned on the radio and tried to find a station that didn't suck. The best he could do was kind of okay and his anger toward his sister increased again. He wanted his baby back…and that included his music.

* * *

Dean was beyond exhausted by the time he drove across the border into Kansas. The landscape was familiar and a sense of home assailed him. It was somewhat comforting. He was keeping his eyes peeled for a motel he could crash at for a few hours. He had wanted to keep driving but he'd managed to drift into the other lane three times already and it wouldn't do Sam any good if he ended up getting himself killed.

When he finally found one he pulled into the parking lot with only a brief hesitation. It went against every fiber of his being to stop, but it was his only option. As long as Sam didn't turn off the phone he would still be able to track her. So with a wary sigh, he turned the car off and got out.

The crisp night air assailed him and he took a deep breath to try and calm his racing mind.

_Ring! Ring!_

Dean jumped in surprise when his phone rang. Thinking it could be his sister he quickly took it out and looked at the caller ID. The number was one he didn't recognize but something within him told him he should answer…so that's what he did.

"Hello?"

"Hello Dean." Said a deep gravelly voice he'd never heard before.

"Who is this and how the hell do you know my name?" Dean barked in annoyance.

"Oh Dean, I know so much more than just your name. You look exhausted by the way. Maybe you should ask the nice owner of The Lodge to rent you a room for the night."

Dean tensed immediately and looked up at the sign above him that read The Lodge, vacancy. He quickly scanned the parking lot but couldn't see anyone. "Who the hell are you?" He asked again, trying to keep his unease from showing.

"My name is Jacob, Dean. And I'm the monster who stole your sister away twelve years ago. You and I need to have a little conversation."


	9. Chapter 9

_Well, here's the next one. This chapter kind of went in a different direction than I had originally intended. Not quite sure how I feel about it. I would love to know what everyone thinks. Good? Bad? Please let me know in a review._

* * *

It started raining as Sam drove. She watched it with dull eyes as she stared out the windshield of Dean's car. The happiness she'd felt earlier…when she'd remembered certain things…was gone now, and the rain only seemed to fuel her resigned state of mind.

She tried not to think; she tried not to feel; she tried not to hear. It was all meaningless.

But no matter what she did, she could not erase the betrayed look on Dean's face when she'd hurt him.

Sam knew she'd had no choice. Dean couldn't come with her. She couldn't let him see…

_Why does it matter if he sees it or not? He already knows you're a monster…besides, he wants to see daddy too…_

Sam slammed her hands down on the steering wheel and glared out at the rain.

It wasn't fair. Dean had already lost so much…she was going to make it. She had too…

She looked down at the clock on the radio and pressed down on the accelerator when she saw she was running out of time. Deep down she knew the confrontation couldn't be avoided. Especially considering what she'd seen in her vision. It didn't stop her from hoping though.

"Why?" She mumbled to herself as the car sped up.

_Because I told her to, you foolish girl. No one can resist me…despite what you may believe…_

"No. I can bring her back. I will bring her back."

_Foolish, foolish girl. Why do you care anyway? You were the one who left her behind. You left them all behind. Andy. Lily. Ava. Jake. Jacob. Jessica…_

Sam's hands clenched around the steering wheel.

_I tortured them after you left…my anger was uncontrollable. There is no saving them now…_

Silent tears started streaming down her cheeks but still Sam did not respond. She knew what she'd done. There was no escaping it.

Her vision was proof of that.

* * *

"Where are you, you son-of-a-bitch?!" Dean screamed into his phone. His rage was getting the better of him. The bastard who'd taken Sam had the nerve to call him on the phone?!

"Calm down Deano. You don't want your head to explode."

"I said, where the hell are you?!"

"I'm nearby. But I'm not coming out until you calm down."

Visibly shaking from anger, Dean sucked in a deep breath. If he was going to be able to kill the asshole, he needed him to show himself first. Knowing the guy was watching, Dean took another deep breath and tried to control his hatred.

"Okay. Fine. I'm calm. Now show yourself."

There was no answer and Dean's anger started to build again. "I said I'm calm!"

"Sure you are."

Dean froze when the voice sounded like it was coming from behind him. Spinning around, he came face to face with the monster who ruined his life.

He wasn't exactly what Dean thought he'd be.

Standing before him was a guy, about his own age, with short black hair, of average height. He was athletically built with a kind face and a warm smile.

Dean wasn't fooled.

His hands started shaking so badly that he had to clench them into fists. It didn't even occur to him that the guy could be lying. No…this was the man…this was the monster that had taken the only thing he cared about. He'd taken Sam…done unspeakable things to her, broke her so badly that she didn't even know who she was anymore. This was the monster who stole her childhood from her and any semblance of a normal life she could have had. This was…the creature that had destroyed his family…

When the guy's eyes flashed black…Dean wasn't surprised. He'd always had a feeling that whatever was behind Sam's disappearance was something supernatural. This demon was just like all the others. Taking human hosts in order to ruin lives.

"Hello Dean." It said with a smile.

"Don't hello me, you son-of-a-bitch. I'm gonna kill you." The venom in his voice paled in comparison to the rage he was really feeling.

"Oh? And how are you going to do that without a weapon?"

Dean narrowed his eyes and clenched his hands into even tighter fists. "I'll figure something out." He hissed, as he imagined cutting the bastards smug smile right off his face. What he wanted to do couldn't be put into words. For twelve years Dean had been living in a hell this monster had created. He'd felt angry before, hell, his whole personality exuded anger, but this was something else entirely. This was a rage that burned him from the inside out.

The two of them stared at each other for a while, Dean barely keeping his shit together, before the demon broke it with a sigh. "This isn't going nearly as well as I'd hoped."

Dean couldn't help but snort in derision. "Oh yeah? Well sorry to disappoint. I don't take kindly to demon scum who kidnap and torture my baby sister."

The demon stared at him blankly for a moment before it reached behind its back and pulled out…a gun.

Dean tensed and shifted his body slightly closer to his car. If he was going down…he was going down fighting. All of his weapons were in the trunk but he could at least grab the knife that was sitting on the passenger side seat. It may not accomplish anything but stabbing the bastard would give him at least a little satisfaction.

But then the demon did something Dean didn't expect. It threw the gun over to him. Dean caught it out of instinct and held it loosely in his right hand. "What the hell?" He asked, thoroughly confused.

"I figured you'd feel better if you were armed. Am I right?" The demon said as if it had been reading his mind.

Dean looked from the demon, down to the gun, and then back again. Decision made, he firmed his grip and aimed the weapon at the demons head. "Yeah." He said as he fired three times.

The bullets hit the demon in the head, neck, and chest. It fell backward and Dean felt a great sense of satisfaction. But then, as he knew it would, the bastard sat up.

"Feel better?" It had the nerve to ask.

Dean unloaded the clip.

Unfortunately, the sound of gunshots drew some unwanted attention.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean could see people peeking out of their motel room windows and the unmistakable sound of sirens could be heard in the distance.

"Dammit…" He muttered under his breath as the demon slowly pushed itself to its feet.

"I'm sorry Dean, but it looks like we're going to have to cut the conversation short for the time being. I can't afford to be delayed by foolish pigs who don't know what they're doing. Good luck and I'll be in touch very soon."

The demon vanished before Dean could even wrap his mind around what it said.

"Dammit!" He screamed as he realized the bastard was gone. Dean threw the gun to the ground and slammed his fists on the roof of his car.

That was his chance…that was his chance to get revenge for Sam…and he'd screwed it up. Now the demon was gone, he was no closer to finding Sam, and he was about to get arrested.

"Can this freakin day get any worse…" He mumbled dejectedly…a second before the sky opened up to release a torrential downpour.

* * *

The diner was small, and a little bit kitschy, but Sam didn't mind. She was really beyond caring at this point and was just looking for something to eat before she headed back to her motel room. She'd intended to keep driving, but decided that she needed to be in top form if she was going to accomplish her task. That, of course, meant a good-nights sleep.

Sam looked down at Dean's phone and contemplated calling him but dismissed the idea as soon as it entered her mind. It was best if he stayed in the dark about what was happening. It was the only way to protect him from what was coming…the possibility that she could fail.

Jessica.

Sam found it very hard to think about Jessica…or any of them for that matter. They had been her family…the people who knew the truth…who knew what it was to be a monster.

* * *

"_Aaarrrggghhh!" She screamed as the searing pain shot through her skull yet again. It was unbearable…like her head was going to explode._

"_Shh, it's okay. Just bear with it a little longer."_

_She felt a pair of arms wrap around her trembling body and tried to do what Jessica suggested. The blonds comforting embrace was the only thing keeping her from losing it completely. She just wanted it to stop…_

_Eventually, the pain subsided and she was left a shaking mess in her sister's arms._

"_There you go. It's okay." Jessica said calmly, as if the pain was just something to be overcome…like everything else._

"_It's not okay…" She muttered as tears poured down her pale cheeks. "It's not okay Jess…I can't take it anymore…I just can't…"_

_She looked up and saw Jessica staring sadly down at her._

"_You have to Star. Remember what he did last time? Do you want that to happen again?"_

"_No…never again…" She shuddered at the memory. _

"_What did you see this time?" Jessica asked in a curious tone. She never knew why the blond was always so interested in her visions. They were never happy ones…_

"_I saw death Jess…nothing but death…"_

_There was a moment of silence before Jessica pulled her even closer. "Maybe…maybe that's our only way out…"_

_Startled, she pulled out of her sisters arms and stared at her in shock. "What?"_

_A cold, slightly detached look appeared on the blonds face. "We're never getting out Star. We're his pawns…his little play things. Maybe death is our only salvation."_

"_No!" She screamed. "Don't say that! Not after…not after what he made us do! I made you a promise remember?! I will get us out…I will get us all out."_

_Jessica smiled softly at her determination…but that cold look…never left her eyes._

* * *

"I'm sorry Jessica…" Sam muttered softly as she gazed blankly out the window beside her. She had so much to be sorry for…sometimes she wished she could do things differently. Be what they needed her to be. But in the end…all she was, was a selfish coward.

"What can I get for you?"

Startled, Sam whipped her gaze around to find a plump older woman standing by her table with a kind smile on her face. "Sorry?"

"I said what can I get ya hon?"

Sam blinked once and thought about what she wanted. "Do you have pie?"

The woman chuckled softly. "Of course we have pie. We have apple, cherry, lemon, and chocolate-cream—"

"I'll have cherry please." Sam said softly, accidentally cutting the woman off. Thankfully she didn't seem to mind.

"Sure thing hon. Be right back."

Sam watched the woman leave before turning her attention back toward the window. Pie…pie made her think of Dean. Dean liked pie…

With a sigh, Sam glanced down at his phone again. Maybe just one call wouldn't be too bad? Just to see if he was okay…

_To call or not to call…that is the question. I didn't train you to be this indecisive Sammy. It makes me sadder than you could imagine, seeing you look so weak and pathetic. Where's my girl? The girl who laughed when I told her to stop making that poor man in Indiana scream because it could wake the whole neighborhood. The girl who tortured those people in Chicago simply because they called her a freak. The girl who abandoned her friends because it suited her needs. The girl who killed over twenty demons to escape me…_

Sam listened to his words but didn't respond. She'd done all of those things…and more. She already knew what she was, she didn't need him to tell her that. The one thing that she did focus on however, was what he'd called her.

"You called me Sammy…"

There was no response.

A wide smile appeared on her face. He'd called her Sammy…it was the very first time he'd ever done that. A feeling she couldn't quite describe welled up within her and it was nearly overwhelming. It was just one more bit of proof that she was exactly who she believed herself to be.

Without another moment's hesitation, Sam started to dial Dean's phone number. She hit one number before she realized…she had Dean's phone. Any number she dialed would call the phone in her hand. She had no idea how to get a hold of him.

_Hahahahahahaha!_

Azazel's laughter echoed in her ears.

"Here you go. One slice of ch—Ah!" The woman screamed as Sam smacked the plate of pie out of her hand. It clattered to the floor with a booming crash that shattered the peaceful atmosphere of the diner. All of the other patrons turned to look in the direction of the noise but Sam didn't even notice. She just stared down at the broken plate…at the red smeared all over the tiled floor…

It looked so much like blood.

"A-are you alright h-hon?"

Sam slowly drew her eyes upward, taking in the name written on the woman's name badge, before staring at her fear filled face. Apparently her name was Jane.

"I would like the check now Jane." She said in a dull monotone. Sam needed to get out. She needed to leave. Her anger…her rage was building and the urge to do something was staring to get the best of her.

"A-alright…just one second."

Jane scurried away and Sam sat there in her booth trying to remain calm. Maybe calling Dean was a bad idea in the first place. Clearly something was telling her that it was pointless. The only thing she would accomplish by doing so would be learning that Dean was now awake and freaking out trying to find her. He would attempt to guilt her into coming back…or tell him where she was going. Two things she couldn't do.

No. She would not call Dean.

Jane came back a few moments later and placed the check on the table. Sam didn't feel anything when she saw the woman's hand shaking. She looked down at the piece of paper in front of her and slowly counted out the amount written down. Then, without another word, she pushed herself out of the booth and headed for the exit.

Once outside she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Getting angry would accomplish nothing. She just really hated it when he beat her. It made her even angrier knowing that it wasn't even really him.

"I will not let you win…do you hear me…I will save them both."

Maybe saying it out loud would make it come true.

Wishful thinking…

* * *

"Goddammit! Let me out! How can you charge me with assault when there isn't even a victim?!"

"Shut up down there!"

Dean smashed his hands against the bars of his cell and glared down the hallway toward the three cops lounging around their desks. He'd been stuck there for three hours already and they weren't telling him anything. Odds were he probably wouldn't even see a judge before the weekend was over. The whole thing was ridiculous. There wasn't even a freakin body. The only good thing about the whole situation was that he'd managed to get a nap in and he now felt more energized.

He sighed in frustration, plopped down on the cot in the cell, and put his face in his hands. This was such a waste of time. Sam was probably in Lawrence by now and he was just rotting in some small town jail. It was all because of the goddamned demon. Once again the thing was ruining his life.

"Oh, don't look so sad Deano. Your lawyer is here to break you out."

Dean's eyes shot up and he saw the same bastard as before standing in front of his cage dressed in a crisp black suit, looking for all the world, to be a high class lawyer.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He said angrily.

The demon, Jacob he suddenly remembered, smiled at him and trailed its hand up and down the bars. "I told you Dean. I'm here to break you out. You want to save Sammy don't you?"

Dean froze at Sam's name. "You stay the hell away from her! I won't let you hurt her again!" He screamed as he surged forward, only to be waylaid by the bars. The demon watched him with a bored expression.

"Are you finished? Make any more racket and those cops will come down here and you'll be stuck here until Monday. Is that what you want?"

Dean clenched the bars in his hands and glared at the demon…but he remained quiet.

"That's better. Now, how bout we have the little chat that was interrupted earlier."

"I thought you were getting me out?"

"All in good time Dean. Why don't you have a seat?"

"I think I'll stand if that's okay." He spat out.

"Whatever floats your boat Deano."

Dean watched as the demon walked over to lean against the wall opposite his cell. He was beyond pissed but he had no choice but to do what it wanted…for the moment anyway.

"Well, where to begin? You know that I'm the demon that took your sister, but did you also know that I'm also the one that set her free?"

Dean's eyes widened in shock. The guy who took her…let her go?

"I can tell from your expression that you had no idea. Not surprising I guess. Especially considering her mental state at the time…"

"Yeah?" Dean barked out. "And whose fault is that asshole?"

Dean was utterly shocked when it looked over at him with a strange expression. It almost looked like remorse…but that couldn't be true. There was no way…right?

"I know what I have done Dean. That is not what I wish to discuss with you. You need to know what you are walking into in chasing after her. Sam is different than the girl you once knew, of that I am sure you've already noticed, but there's more to it."

Dean released his grip on the bars and took a step back. Sam's black eyes flashed through his mind. What had this demon done to her? It was correct in one thing. Sam was no longer the sister he knew. She was different in so many ways. She was strong and hardened, like someone who'd fought a war. Her eyes were clouded by the things she had seen and been through. She was no longer an innocent child and Dean could only guess what she'd done over the past twelve years.

"What did you do to her?" He whispered, slightly afraid of the answer, but needing to know the truth.

The demon, Jacob, looked at him in understanding and it made Dean want to puke.

"I broke her. I broke her, and then I put her back together again. I tortured her mind and her body. I made her do things you could only dream of in your nightmares. But even with everything I did…she fought tooth and nail. It wasn't until _he_ started her training that the Sam you knew…disappeared."

_He_? Was it the same person, or demon, that Sam seemed to reference constantly? She appeared to be utterly terrified of whoever it was and that was the reason she wanted, no needed, to keep moving.

"Who is _he?_"

Jacob stared at him silently and Dean had a feeling he was contemplating on whether or not to tell him. Dean knew he would talk. For whatever reason, the demon seemed to be in a chatty mood, and while Dean wanted to kill him for what he did to Sam, he needed to know what had happened to his sister and what she was running from.

"Azazel."

Azazel? Dean didn't know the name. He'd never heard it before. The way Jacob said it though…made him very nervous.

"Who is Azazel?"

Jacob smiled and took a step closer to the bars. "Azazel is…the yellow eyed demon. He is the chess player; the manipulator; the boss. We are nothing but pawns in his game. You wish to fight Dean? You wish to save your sister? Azazel is who you have to defeat. Little Samantha Winchester is his greatest star. You have no idea what she is capable of. I would tread lightly if I were you."

So much information was flying at him that he was having trouble processing it. One thing stuck out however…the yellow eyed demon. That was a name he'd heard before. There had been talk of a strange demon with yellow colored eyes in hunter circles for a number of years now. Dean had thought they were just rumours but apparently they were true. If this thing wanted Sam back…it was all the more reason for him to find her as fast as possible.

"Get me out."

Jacob smiled even wider. "I take it you are ignoring my warning? Good. I will help you on one condition."

"Oh, and what the hell would that be?"

"Kill him." The demons eyes flashed black and Dean was a bit taken aback by the venom in those two words. It would appear that this Jacob had had a falling out with his boss. Well, if that was the way out, then he had no problem agreeing to it, especially considering that was his plan all along.

"Deal."

Without wasting another second, Jacob strode forward and smashed the cell door open. It swung back on its hinges creating a huge bang. The police from the other room could be heard shouting but Dean wasn't paying any attention. He was too focused on the giant hole in the brick wall of his cell that Jacob had just created.

"Go Dean. Your car is in the impound lot down the street. Good luck. And when you see Sam, tell her…that there is a new Star."

"What?" He questioned as he turned toward the demon in confusion. "Hey!"

Jacob was already gone.

The yelling from the cops was getting closer and Dean realized that he couldn't waste any more time. Without a second thought he dashed through the hole in the wall and made his way through the alley behind the police station. What was one more charge anyway?

He ran as fast as he could toward the impound lot. Not because he needed the car, he could always steal another one, but because he wanted to see if his things were still inside of it. He would need a weapon if he was going after Sam.

Thankfully the weapons were still there, so he scooped them and then broke into another vehicle. He felt better once he was back on the road. Too much time had been wasted already. Once he found her he'd get some answers, of that he was certain. He was very curious about the relationship she had with the demon Jacob and he needed to know all he could about Azazel. At least he now had the name of the one pulling the strings. He was going to have to make a call to Bobby to see if the old man could dig up any info on the yellow eyed demon.

"I'm comin Sammy. Just hold on…"


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hello everyone. I'm sorry for the long delay. I made this a long chapter to try to make up for it. This story is nearing it's end, only a few more chapters to go. I am so grateful for all of the reviews and follows this story has gotten and I hope you will continue to let me know what you think. I also wanted to mention that there is a bit of violence in this chapter. Nothing extremely graphic but I just wanted to warn you.**_

* * *

Sam drove into the small town of Lawrence, Kansas with no feelings at all. Despite the fact that she knew a terrible event was about to happen…one that could result in multiple deaths…she still found herself feeling absolutely nothing.

After her little breakdown at the diner earlier in the day, she'd just drove. No more stops, no more delays. She wanted to get this over with as fast as possible. This sense of urgency is what drove her and it kept her focused on the task at hand.

She watched the scenery go by with little interest. Sam knew where she had to go.

It was strange. She had never been to Lawrence before but the roads seemed very familiar. She knew exactly which streets to take to get to her destination.

The tiny house was at the end of the street on the right hand side. Sam pulled the Impala up to the curb and got out of the car. She stood there for a moment and looked up at the building. It was a cute house, painted white, and outside stood a beautiful oak tree. A sense of warmth spread through her at the sight and she smiled softly.

The good feeling was short lived however.

Something moved in one of the upstairs windows. It was nothing more than a flash but it sent a shiver down her spine. It was time to face the music.

Sam walked calmly across the small stone path leading up to the front door. She slowly climbed up the porch steps and stopped in front of the wooden door. She took a deep breath and placed her hand on the doorknob. The door swung open soundlessly and she was greeted with a complete horror show. It was, of course, nothing she'd never seen before but that didn't make it any easier. It also…was a lot easier than it should have been.

The man of the house was lying in the middle of the foyer. His head was disconnected from his body and sitting just to the left of it. His eyes were wide open in a gruesome show of terror and surprise. Sam's eyes trailed blankly over him. There was nothing she could do and to waste time thinking about what she could have done to stop it…was foolish.

His wife was worse in a way. Her head was still attached but she was hanging from the banister of the stairs like Jesus, pinned to the cross. Her arms were wrenched out and tied to the railings with, what looked like pieces of her own long brown hair. She was completely naked and her body was marred by bruises. Someone had beaten her to death and hung her up like a pinata. Such hatred and anger…

Again, Sam moved on. There was nothing she could do for any of them. They were dead; rotting away like garbage.

Finally, her blank hazel eyes landed on the third and final victim.

The one that caused her heart to harden…was the little boy. He was sitting in a chair by the door. Just…sitting there. His hands were resting perfectly upon his tiny lap, looking for all the world, like he was just waiting for his parents to come home. His blue eyes were open and staring blankly ahead with a milky whiteness to them that proved he was never going to see anything ever again. He didn't have a mark on him. He was no more than six years old.

Sam stared at that little boy for a long time. He was never going to grow up. Never smile again…or laugh. Never have a family of his own. He'd been snuffed out before he'd even had a chance…

Eventually, Sam tore her eyes away and closed the front door behind her. She walked quietly past the bodies and into the living room. It was empty. She was just about to turn around and head toward the kitchen, when she heard it. Humming.

The tune was one she knew. It had been kind of an anthem for the children of Azazel. One that bonded them in their misery. Sam could remember when Jessica used to sing it after…certain things.

She followed the sound back toward the staircase. Gazing past the murdered family, Sam looked upward into the darkness of the second level, before slowly beginning her ascent. She headed down the dim hallway, walking past multiple closed doors. She ignored them all and continued on toward the last door on the left which was partly open with light streaming out.

The music grew louder as she approached and Sam knew Jessica was using it to draw her in. She didn't mind though. It made her former sister easier to find and Sam wasn't in the mood for games. She stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath. There were only two ways that this meeting was going to end. Judging from the massacre on the first floor…the second was seeming far more likely.

She hesitated for a brief moment before stepping forward into one of her nightmares.

The room was the little boys. It was painted blue with pictures of animals all over the walls. Definitely no more than six years old…

There was a tiny race car bed with a nightstand and dresser. Toys were strewn all over the room…like he had been in the middle of playing when tragedy struck.

Standing in the middle of all of this were two people. One was Jessica. The blond was beautiful…even with the blood of three people covering her. Sam had to force herself to remain stoic. Jessica had been so much to her in their shared captivity that it was hard to see her as anything but a sister. Things had changed though and there was no denying that anymore.

Jessica was standing over the second individual, holding his right arm in a vice like grip as he was forced to kneel on the carpeted floor. He was the man from her vision. The man she was here to protect and save. He was John Winchester…her father. Sam took a brief moment to study him.

He was older than she'd thought he'd be. Or maybe it was life that had aged him. Either way…John looked tired and broken. His strong face was bruised but that didn't stop him from glaring harshly up at his captor and Sam was reminded of Dean in that moment. They both appeared to be very stubborn men.

When she entered the room his brown eyes immediately shot over toward her with a look of contempt. Apparently he thought she was there to help Jessica. He thought she was a monster…and he was right.

"Hello Jessica." Sam said in an emotionless voice. There was no room for sentiment.

The blond looked up with cold, pale green eyes and a hollow smile. "Oh…hello beautiful girl. I'm glad you could join us. I've missed you so much Star. Or…should I call you Samantha now?"

Sam could see John's eyes go wide with shock. The contempt from earlier was replaced with a mixture of disbelief and reluctant hope. His mouth opened as if he wished to say something…but no words came out.

Sam tried not to think about him. All of her focus had to be on the girl in front of her. It was the only way they would make it out of this alive.

"How do you know my real name Jess? Did he tell you?"

Jessica stared ahead blankly for a moment before a more sinister looking smile appeared on her face. "Oh, I've known who you are for quite a while. Do you know how hard it was to go along with the entire charade? Pretending to be poor little Jessica Moore, the girl nobody wanted, all in an attempt to bend you to his will. I guess it kind of backfired a little. I honestly didn't expect you to leave us all behind like that, and I don't think anyone saw the whole team-up with Jacob thing coming either. That one was just absolutely amazing."

Sam listened with little interest. Jessica was trying to make her believe that their entire relationship was a lie? It was pathetic. Sam had seen the blond at her lowest. They had been through hell together…that was no lie. "I expected more from you, _sister._"

Jessica narrowed her eyes at the remembered endearment and squeezed John's arm even harder. To his credit the man didn't even flinch considering the fact that his arm must have felt like it was being crushed.

"You forget Jessica, that I know you. I know that you grew up a farmer's daughter in Texas. I know how much you wanted to escape that life and become something better. I know that every time he made you kill a child…you felt like you were killing yourself. Although, judging from what went on downstairs, that little issue no longer troubles you."

The blond smiled even wider and looked about to say something but Sam continued before she could.

"That self-loathing used to eat you up inside and every night you would come to me and beg me to end your pain. Every day we'd wake up and pray that we wouldn't have to see another friend succumb to him. You want me to believe that that was all a lie? I know you Jessica…you're not that good a liar."

Jessica narrowed her eyes even further before breaking out into a bone chilling laugh. "Still the same sanctimonious fool as always. Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore. I know what I have to do now. I know what's going to happen here."

"But it doesn't have to end like this Jess!" Sam yelled out in frustration, emotions finally getting the best of her. Maybe things didn't have to end the way she'd seen. Maybe she could get through to her friend. "You can let him go and come with me! We don't have to do this anymore! We…we can be free…"

Jessica stared at her with wide disbelieving eyes. "Are you serious? Free? Just look in the mirror Samantha! You think you're free? You forget that I can see things too, and I see the truth standing right in your own shadow."

Sam involuntarily flinched at Jessica's words. She didn't want to think that the blond knew about what haunted her.

Jessica smiled knowingly. "I wonder…does he see it to? That brother you're becoming so fond of?"

John's eyes widened even further in surprise.

"Leave him out of this Jessica." Sam said tensely in response.

Jessica laughed and Sam couldn't help but be convinced that there really was no hope in changing the blonds mind. She was just…too far gone.

"But why would you want to Sammy? This whole thing is about family isn't it? Take this place for example." Jessica said as she released John and waved both of her arms around. John slumped forward but he was still staring straight at Sam.

"What about this place? I don't understand."

Jessica laughed again. "Oh this is too good. She doesn't understand John, do you think I should tell her?"

John closed his eyes and Sam could see the grief written all over his face.

"This place, Sammy, is the place where you were born."

It was Sam's turn to be surprised. Her eyes immediately shifted around the room. This was where she was born? But…why would Jessica choose this place for her little game?

"Why did you bring me here Jessica?"

The blonde's eyes took on a wild look. Sam could see that she was deteriorating.

"Why? Well…because this was your beginning Sam. This was where your path was set in motion. John and Mary Winchester. They met at the garage where John here worked part time. Mary was looking for an escape from her past and the small town boy next door was just what she needed. Isn't that right John?" Jessica reached forward to ruffle his hair. John didn't react. In fact…his eyes became so distant that Sam didn't even think he knew what was happening anymore.

"They went out, got married, had sex and popped out a son. His name was Dean. Ahh, so cute. Four years later is when it gets really good. They brought a beautiful baby girl into the world. Her name was Samantha and she was the apple of her father's eye. All was well in the Winchester household for a little while. The perfect American family. But then something happened…"

* * *

_Dean?_

_Yeah Sammy?_

_Why don't we have a mommy Dean?_

…

_Dean?_

_I…I told you to stop asking me that Sammy._

_But-_

_No Sammy. I don't want to talk about it right now._

…_Okay Dean._

* * *

"There was a fire…" Sam whispered as the memory flooded her mind. So many conversations without answers. A little girl who would never know the warmth of her mother.

John's head shot up and Jessica laughed hysterically. "That's right!" She screeched. "A beautiful fire. His fire."

Sam closed her eyes in pain. It was all true. She knew who she was now…and she'd never had a chance. Ever since the day she was born…she had belonged to him…

_HAHAHAHAHA! The truth shall set you free! I told you all along that you were mine! Always my love…always…_

"That's the expression I wanted to see! The utter despair and hopelessness! You want to be free Sam?! The only path to freedom…is DEATH!"

Jessica abruptly shoved John, causing him to fall face first onto the carpet, before she surged forward toward Sam and wrapped her pale hands around her neck. The two of them fell backward onto the ground. Sam hit hard with Jessica on top of her, still crushing her windpipe.

She struggled briefly before the fight just…drained out of her. She let her arms fall limply to her sides and stared up at the girl who she considered family…even still.

Jessica's blue eyes were wild and there was such…hatred on her face. Sam's guilt skyrocketed. She had abandoned them all when she'd escaped. Over the years they had always been there for each other…they were all they had. Sam had effectively cut ties and ran from each and every one of them. Jessica was only one of the sins she had committed.

Upon realizing that she had no intention of fighting back, Jessica threw her head back and screamed. Her hands tightened even more and Sam was finding it so hard to breath. Her vision was going dark and her body felt heavy and sluggish…but she still couldn't bring herself to fight back.

Sam thought of John, laying on the floor a few feet away. Her father; a man she never thought she'd meet again in her lifetime. She could add his eminent death at Jessica's hand to her list of sins. His eyes had held such pain and she wished she could have hugged him at least once.

As the darkness slowly consumed her, Sam's thoughts drifted to Dean. Her big brother. She still found it hard to believe that she even had a brother, let alone one as wonderful as Dean. She had never before felt such love from another human being. Dean loved her because she was his sister and that was it. There were no ulterior motives. Just the bond of family. It was the happiest she could ever remember being. Seeing all of the different faces he made when he was happy or sad or worried. Watching him eat pie…even seeing his face when he found out what she could do. Even then…he hadn't abandoned her…

But…that's what she was doing to him…

Abandoning him…

Leaving him without a father or a sister…

Something snapped inside of her when she imagined his heartbroken face. It was almost as though…a part of her just…faded away...

* * *

Sam's eyes flew open and all of her focus centered upon the blue eyed blond hovering above her. It was like a shockwave burst forth from her body and Jessica went flying backward into the wall behind her. The blonds crumpled body hit the floor with a dull thud as Sam sucked in several deep breaths.

_That's my girl…use your gifts…kill her…_

Sam slowly eased herself up into a sitting position and her dull hazel eyes shifted over toward Jessica. The blond was unconscious and a small puddle of blood was pooling under her head staining her beautiful hair a sickly pink. Sam blinked once and looked over at John. He was still lying where Jessica had shoved him but his head was turned to face her and his eyes were wide open in horror.

She barely paid him a second thought. Sam pushed herself to her feet and began making her way over toward Jessica. Once she was a few feet away she held her hand out toward the unconscious girl and focused her mind. A moment later Jessica's body started rising slowly up off of the floor like some weird marionette. Sam watched uncaringly as her blond head lolled lifelessly to the left.

It was like she was drifting through a fog…doing these things but…feeling like it was somebody else.

_It's just the real you, my precious Star…_

Once Jessica was level with herself, Sam lifted her other hand and, with a quick jerk…twisted the blonde's neck until there was a loud snap. It was horrifying how Jessica didn't even make a sound as she died. The girl who was once a central figure in Sam's entire world…gone…in the blink of an eye.

_Beautiful…_

The whispered word sent an excited chill down her spine and Sam smiled.

"Samantha."

The voice was soft but hard at the same time. Still smiling, she turned to face her father. Strangely though, she felt nothing toward him. Even the way he looked at her…like she was something that needed to be put down, meant nothing. In fact, she found it kind of funny.

"Hello John. It is so good to see you again. You're looking a little rough."

He was kneeling now, staring up at her with unreadable brown eyes. Sam could sense the shift in him though. When she'd first entered the room there had been reluctant hope…but now there was only wary determination. She knew what he was going to do. He was a hunter after all.

"Why are you so surprised John? It's been twelve years. What did you think would happen?"

His eyes shifted and Sam could see the pain hidden within them. She wanted to laugh but figured it would be in bad taste.

"You know, I don't even think that I can bring myself to call you father. You left me with him John. You left me with him and I...Samantha died. She never came back. She was a stupid pathetic waste of air and she…" Sam trailed off with a look of disgust. There was no point. John wasn't going to be making it out of the room alive anyway.

He seemed to understand and slowly pushed himself to his feet with a look of finality on his tired face. "I failed you Samantha…I will always have to live with that guilt. But…I'm going to do one last thing as your father. I'm going to end your suffering."

Without another word he surged forward and plowed right into her.

Sam had to admit that she didn't quite expect that. She knew he was going to attempt to kill her but she didn't think he'd do it without a moment's hesitation.

The momentum pushed them both out of the room and into the hallway. Sam's back smashed into the wall and a sharp pain suddenly pierced her side. Looking down she noticed a knife sticking out of her flesh. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed in Jessica. The blond hadn't even searched him for weapons.

"Wow, John. I honestly didn't think you had it in you." Sam muttered, voice filled with spite.

She placed her hand gently on the side of his face. "But now…it's my turn." Power surged through her once more and within seconds John was slammed into the floor. He grunted in pain and before he could do anything, Sam stomped her foot down on his back.

Multiple times.

John groaned and she could feel him trying to push himself back to his feet. Sam wasn't about to let that happen. She removed her foot and took a step back before throwing him up against the wall. His head hit with a loud, satisfying, thud. Sam watched with a smile as his eyes rolled around wildly before settling on her.

"What? Don't you have anything to say to me? You did just try to kill your own daughter."

His eyes hardened. "My daughter died twelve years ago. You…you are a demon. I won't tolerate you pretending otherwise. She was stolen from me…I won't let you destroy her memory!"

He started thrashing around violently. For the first time, Sam could sense the depth of his pain. John Winchester had lost a wife and a daughter to the same monster. He wasn't even close to his own son, the only family he had left. This pain should mean something to her. Her father was in agony…but all she wanted to do was rip out what was left of his heart.

"Calm down John. You can't beat me, so don't even try." There was only so much pathetic struggling that she could take.

He fought for a moment longer before, finally, he slumped back against the wall.

"That's a good boy. Now, how should we finish this? I could crush you, but that seems a little…barbaric. Maybe I'll carve you up first. Maybe I'll even use the knife you used to stab me." Sam said as she ripped the blade from her side.

Blood began to trickle from the wound but she ignored it. Sam held the knife out in front of her and took a slow menacing step forward. John clocked every movement.

"I think I'll carve your eyes out first. That way you won't be able to see what's coming." She said softly as she took another slow step. John didn't even flinch. He was stronger than she anticipated. But, maybe that was a good thing. It would make breaking him, all the more satisfying.

"You were there when Jess killed those people? Well, I am a whole lot worse. I'm not known as the Star of Azazel for nothing. You see, John, I like killing people. It is something I'm quite passionate about. I've also found ways of making the pain last a very long time. You will die slowly and painfully, John. At the hands of your own child no less. I think this will be the best one yet. I know that _I_ am greatly looking forward to it." Sam strode forward purposefully and, without a seconds hesitation, slammed the knife into his chest.

John didn't scream but he did grunt in pain. Sam had made sure not to hit anything vital. She didn't want him to die before the best part. With a satisfied smirk, Sam ripped the knife back out. Blood began to stream slowly from the wound and it stained his flannel shirt a deep crimson. Her favorite color.

"Beautiful…" She murmured in ecstasy.

"My god…what did he do to you?"

Startled, Sam looked up at John's face. He was looking down at her with something akin to pity in his eyes. It angered her in a way she hadn't felt before.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm so sorry sweetheart…I'm so, so sorry…"

Sam's anger skyrocketed. "Sorry?! You're sorry?! You are nowhere near as sorry as you're gonna be! It's your fault this happened to me! Twelve years! Twelve years in a hell you will never know! I will make you regret ever bringing me into this world!"

Overwhelmed with a burning rage, Sam lifted the knife high above her head and brought it down into the muscle of his right shoulder. This time John let out a scream of pain. It was the best sound in the world.

_Yes…make him scream some more Star. Make him scream so loud they can hear it in hell…_

She ripped the knife out again and slashed him across the chest multiple times. The sounds he made were terrific…but she could do better. Smiling wickedly, Sam lifted the knife and slowly inched the tip of the blade closer and closer to his left eye. John, through a haze of pain, tracked the movement with a sense of inevitability.

"Well, shall we get serious?" She asked, barely concealing her excitement. It had been so long since she felt so alive.

John's eyes widened and for the first time Sam could see a bit of actual fear in them. It was glorious. The blade inched even closer.

"Drop the knife, Sam, and step away from him."

Once again startled, Sam spun around in surprise to face who had spoken.

Standing at the top of the stairs, a grim look on his face, was none other than her big brother…Dean.

And in his hand was a shotgun…

It was pointed right at her chest.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean held the gun out in front of himself with a steady hand, but inside he felt like he was going to throw up. How did things end up like this? How did he end up in this house, holding a freaking gun on his little sister as she attempted to murder their father with demonic powers and a knife?

The moment he'd walked in and saw those bodies he knew he was too late. Something seriously bad had gone down and he could only hope that Sam was still alive. That's when he'd heard her voice from upstairs. The relief he'd felt was overwhelming. At least until he got to the second floor…

Dean took the steps two at a time and nearly had a heart attack when he saw her. Sam was standing in front of their father, about to carve his eye out. He was shocked to see his father but he was even more surprised to see that Sam was the one attacking him.

When she spun around to face him, he nearly dropped the gun. Sam's eyes, while not completely black like before, were darkened with an overwhelming hatred. She sneered at him with contempt. But there was something about it that seemed, almost…hollow. Like she was just pretending to feel the emotions.

"Well, isn't this a surprise. Hello, Dean. Come here to shoot me with rock salt again?" She said in a dull tone. There was no sense of…anything. She was completely blank. Like some sort of doll.

"Not this time Sammy. Real bullets. So why don't you take a step back and put the knife down." He replied in an equally calm voice. He couldn't let his emotions get the best of him this time. One wrong move and they could all be dead.

"Real bullets, huh? Surprising, but somewhat comforting. It's nice to know that you have some balls after all, Dean. I was beginning to think you were nothing but a complete sap. Always crying about your little lost Sammy. It was getting kinda pathetic."

Dean clenched his hand tighter around the gun as he cocked it. "Back off Sam."

She stared at him for a moment before breaking out into a small smile. "What if I don't want to? What are you gonna do, Dean? Are you really going to shoot me?"

"I will if I have to." He said, voice cold and hard. If he was being honest, he wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do. Killing Sam was not an option. But, letting her kill John was also not an option. He was caught between two impossible decisions.

"Shoot her, Dean."

Dean's eyes shifted over toward his father. "What?" He exclaimed in disbelief.

"I said shoot her. Sam is dead. This is a monster wearing her face. Do it, Dean! Now!"

Dean couldn't help but want to shoot John in that moment. Shoot Sam? How could his own father want him to do that?

"I think you should do what he says Deano. Cause, if you don't, I'll kill you both." Sam added with a smile.

Deano? Sam had never before called him that. Not even as a child. But somebody did.

"Jacob."

Sam froze. The blood seemed to drain from her face and the smile vanished. "Excuse me?"

"My sister has never called me by that name before. But Jacob has. This isn't you Sam. This is him."

"What the hell do you know about Jacob?" She asked softly.

"Jacob and I had a little chat earlier. I know that he took you twelve years ago and that he was also the one who helped you escape."

"Did you…did you kill him?" She asked just as softly as before. There was something in her voice now. Something he couldn't quite place. The closest emotion he could think of was…concern.

"Why? Why do you care if a demon lives or dies? He's the one who took you Sam. He's the reason you're like this."

Sam stared at him for a moment before breaking out in near hysterical laughter. "Hahahaha! He's the reason?! You think he's the reason I'm this creature from hell?!"

"Well, isn't he? The bastard took you from us Sam!"

"You don't know anything, Dean. I was never yours to begin with. From the very beginning I belonged to him and to believe any different is foolish. I know the truth now…I know what I am…Jessica was right. She was right about everything. The only way out…is death."

Sam's eyes became eerily empty and Dean knew that he was losing her. He didn't know what this supposed truth was, or who this Jessica person was, but if whatever it was, was causing her such despair…it wasn't a truth he wanted to hear.

"I don't care what you think you've learned about yourself, Sammy. The only truth I need to know, is the one where you are my baby sister. You are my family Sam and nothing is ever going to change that. So drop the goddamn knife and step away from John."

Sam tilted her head slightly and blinked. "John. John Winchester." She turned her attention back to where she still had John pressed up against the wall.

"You know…he already tried to kill me once, Dean."

"What?" Dean asked numbly as his eyes were drawn down to the bloody wound in Sam's side. The realization that his father had hurt his own daughter was incredibly hard to swallow. Anger surged within him and a part of him wanted to turn his gun on the man.

"Let. Him. Go." He ground out through clenched teeth.

Sam looked at him again with those empty eyes. "Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. Either way…I won't do anything until you tell me whether or not Jacob is dead."

Dean thought back to the smug look on the bastards face. "Fine. The asshat is still alive. He sends his regards."

The utter relief that he saw explode across her face was almost as difficult to swallow as finding out their father had tried to kill her. It hurt, knowing that she cared for a demon. It made him want to…hurt her back.

"He also told me something else. He told me about Azazel. He told me Azazel found a new Star."

Any color left in Sam's face vanished completely. Her eyes widened and the smile melted away. She looked at him with true emotion this time. Fear. Dean had never before seen her so afraid…not even when she was in the middle of one of her episodes.

"Oh, God…he…he let him go. D-does he know—did y-you tell him where…" Sam trailed off and started shaking. The knife she still held toward John started to wobble and, finally, it lowered. Her eyes were staring at him in utter terror and Dean immediately regretted bringing up the demons name. He had known it would cause some sort of reaction in her…he just didn't think it would be this bad.

"Sam, I need you to calm down okay. I didn't tell him anything. He doesn't know where you are. And even if he did…I would never let him take you again. I need you to believe me."

Nothing he said seemed to work. If anything, his words only appeared to make things worse. Sam gripped her head in her hands and closed her eyes.

"No. No. No, no, no, no, no…" She chanted in a horrified voice while shaking her head back and forth between her hands.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean noticed whatever hold she had held over John loosen, and his father sank down to the floor in a bloody heap. It was one positive thing at least.

"Sam, you need to calm down. Listen to me. You're okay." He said softly, once again trying to reason with her.

Once again it didn't work.

"No! You told him! I know you did!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "He's going to come here! He's going to come here and take me again! I won't go back!"

A blast of energy shot out of her and rammed into him like a truck. Dean went flying backward into the stair railing, nearly breaking right through it, before collapsing to the floor.

_Bang!_

The sound rang out, but what it was, and what it implied, didn't really register for Dean. He sat there stunned for a moment before looking down at the gun in his hand. The smell of gunpowder filled his nostrils and the barrel was warm to the touch. He stared at it for a few seconds before slowly bringing his gaze up to take in the rest of the hallway. The scene in front of him was something his mind couldn't exactly handle. In shock, he didn't move…even as she fell to the ground.

It wasn't until he saw his father struggling to move toward her prone form that his mind finally caught up with the situation.

"Sam!" He screamed as he surged forward toward her. He was at her side in seconds, beating his father, and crouching down beside her. The bullet had hit her square in the chest and the light blue blouse she was wearing was already turning crimson.

"S-Sammy?" He muttered as his hands fluttered over her, unsure of what to do. In the back of his mind he knew that he had to stop the bleeding and get her to a hospital but shock was hindering his thought process.

"Dean?"

His eyes shot to her face when her soft voice reached his ears. Her hazel eyes were wide open and filled with confusion.

"H-hey there, Sammy. You just…you just hold on okay? You're okay." Dean wasn't quite sure who he was really trying to convince.

"Dean…I'm s-sorry, Dean."

"Sorry? You got nothing to be sorry about. Now, just stay with me here and we'll get you some help."

Finally snapping out of whatever funk he was in, Dean shrugged out of his jacket and forcefully pressed it to the wound. Sam flinched from the pain. "Sorry, Sammy, but I gotta stop the bleeding."

With his other hand he fumbled around in his pocket for his phone. His panic skyrocketed though, when he pulled the thing out only to find the screen horribly cracked and it wouldn't even turn on. It must have happened when Sam had thrown him.

"Dammit!" He yelled in frustration. "Dad, I need your phone!" Dean said as he turned to his father.

John had stopped crawling toward Sam and didn't move from where he was sat on the floor a few feet away. His blank gaze was locked on his daughter. He didn't even seem to register the fact that Dean spoke.

"Dad!" Dean yelled in an apparently vain attempt to get his father's attention. Frustrated with the lack of response, Dean crawled over to his father and yanked his blood covered coat open. In the back of his mind he knew that his dad was hurt. That John could be in as much danger as Sam was. But his entire focus was on his sister. He began to search every pocket for the phone. "Dammit! Where the hell is it?!"

John made no move to help. His eyes were locked on Sam and it looked to Dean like his father had become a vegetable.

"Ah to hell with this!" Dean pushed his father away in anger when he couldn't find John's cell and hurried back to Sam. She was still awake and staring vaguely up at the ceiling.

"Sammy, I need you to listen to me okay? I can't get an ambulance so I have to take you to the hospital myself. That means I have to move you…and it's gonna hurt. A lot. Do you understand?"

Her eyes rolled slowly back to settle on his face. "I'm sorry…Dean."

"Hey, I told you before that you have nothing to apologize for. Are you ready?"

She just kept staring at him so he took that as a yes. Without a moment's hesitation, Dean scooped his sister up into his arms. She didn't even scream…and that scared him to death. If she wasn't feeling any pain…it was not a good sign. He didn't even glance at John as he sprinted down the stairs two at a time. He'd come back for his father as soon as he got Sam in the car. He could only take one of them at a time. He wished, more than anything, that John was in a condition to help, but his father looked as though he had been stabbed multiple times and was definitely in shock. In other words, completely useless.

It took longer than he would have liked to get back to the Impala, and when they finally made it, Dean wrenched the passenger side door open and gently set Sam down on the seat. Her head lolled to the left and Dean felt his heart skip a beat when he saw that her eyes were closed. "Sammy! Hey! You gotta stay awake!" He lightly slapped her cheek and her eyes shot open again. They locked on his face and he tried to calm his rapid heartbeat. "You with me kiddo?"

She blinked once and licked her lips as a small dribble of blood leaked from the corner of her mouth.

"Dean." The word was barely audible.

"That's me, Sammy. I need you to stay here, and stay awake. I'm gonna go get John and I'll be right back. Stay awake Sam. Stay awake." Dean was trying his best to stomp down on the panic slowly rising within him. If Sam was bleeding from her mouth…that meant that she was bleeding in her lungs.

He waited until she nodded slightly before slamming the door shut and sprinting back into the house. His father was right where he left him.

"Dad? We gotta go." When there was no response, Dean knelt down and grabbed his father's arm. He somehow managed to drag John to his feet and threw the man's arm around his shoulders. Thankfully, once he had his feet under him, John became more helpful by following Dean's lead and walking. It was more of a limp, but Dean wasn't complaining.

Once again, taking longer than he would have liked, Dean made it back to the car. Sam was still in the front seat but it wasn't looking good. Her face was as white as a sheet and her eyes were rolling around, never focusing on anything. Her face was leaning up against the glass like she could no longer hold it up by herself.

Knowing that he had no time to waste, Dean dragged John over to the car and dropped him unceremoniously into the backseat. He then ran around the vehicle and practically threw himself inside. They were speeding down the nearly deserted street a second later.

"Sam, you still with me?" Dean asked fearfully as he reached over and pushed his blood soaked jacket tighter against the wound. She didn't answer but Dean could see that her eyes were still open in the windows reflection. "We're almost there Sammy. Just hang on okay…"

Thankfully, having lived in Lawrence, Dean knew where the hospital was so it was a rather quick drive. The fact that he sped the entire way there helped too. Sam was silent the whole time and Dean held a near constant pressure on his jacket. He knew that if he let up, even a little, Sam could bleed out in a matter of minutes.

* * *

Dean drove straight up to the emergency doors and jumped out of the car without turning it off.

"Help!" He screamed as soon as he was inside. "My sister's been shot! Please! I need help!"

A large group of nurses and a few doctors ran over to him and followed him as he led them back out to the car. He didn't wait for them as he ran to the passenger side and ripped the door open. Sam, having been leaning up against it, toppled out of the vehicle. Luckily Dean was right there to catch her. She didn't need any more injuries. His heart almost stopped though, when he saw that her eyes were closed.

"Sam?! Wake up, Sam!" He yelled. There was no answer.

A second later he was swarmed by hospital personnel.

"Please step back sir." Someone said to him as Sam was pulled out of his arms. His gut reaction was to hold on tighter.

"Please sir. We need to get her inside. I promise we'll take good care of her."

Dean reluctantly allowed himself to be moved aside. He watched, almost in a daze, as Sam was loaded onto a stretcher.

"We have a young female with a gunshot wound to the chest. Currently unresponsive. I'm going to need four bags of O-Negative and a crash cart…"

There was more…Dean knew there was more, but when she said crash cart…

"Sir? Can you hear me, sir?"

Dean turned a blank gaze in the direction of the voice. Standing there looking at him in concern was a female nurse. That's when Dean noticed that he was now inside the hospital, in the waiting room apparently. When the hell did that happen? He also realized that Sam was gone.

"Sam?" He called out in a vain attempt to find her. He needed to know if she was still alive.

"Sir?"

He focused again on the nurse. She was older, maybe around his dad's age, with green eyes and a compassionate face.

"Are you back with me now sir?" She asked in a calm voice.

"Where is Sam?" Was all he could bring himself to say.

She smiled sadly in understanding. "The young lady you arrived with has been taken up to surgery. It's going to be quite some time until there is any news. The gentleman from the back seat has also been taken to an exam room. Why don't we go over there and have a seat okay?"

Dean just nodded numbly and allowed himself to be maneuvered into one of the shitty hospital chairs. The nurse sat down beside him.

"I'm going to have to ask you a few questions now sir. Is that alright?"

"Dean. My name…is Dean."

She smiled softly at him. "Well, that answers one question. Hello Dean, my name is Judy. Do you think you can fill out some paperwork for me, Dean?"

He nodded numbly again. Judy placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know your worried honey, but you have to have faith that everything will turn out alright. The best doctors are working on her as we speak."

"Yeah…" He mumbled softly without any real feeling behind it.

He had shot her…

He had shot his baby sister…

It didn't matter that it was an accident. It didn't matter that she had attacked him.

He shot her. Sam could die…and it was entirely his fault.

"Dean? You still with me?" Asked Judy.

Dean blinked slowly and swallowed the scream that was threatening to escape. He had to pull his shit together. Losing it now was not going to help Sam. He had to come up with some kind of story for how everything went down. Gunshot wound meant cops, and there was no way in hell he was going back to jail. Not when Sam needed him.

"Yeah. I'm here. What do you need me to fill out?"

"Just some insurance forms. And after that a police officer will be arriving to talk with you about what happened. Are you up for that?"

"Yeah. Oh, I should probably go move my car first. I kinda left it in the emergency entrance."

Judy smiled that same understanding smile. "Of course. I'll leave the paperwork at the reception desk. Just head there when you come back inside."

Dean nodded and then headed for the exit. He was actually a little surprised at how far they had come into the hospital. He didn't even remember walking down the white corridors. All he could see was Sam…bleeding all over the place from a gunshot wound he'd inflicted.

He heaved in a deep shuddering breath and tried to calm down. Freaking out would only get his own ass admitted and he had no time for that crap. He shut his mind off of Sam related things and focused on what he needed to do. Move the car. Come up with a plausible story for what happened. The second one was easier said than done.

The Impala was right where he left it, still running, and in the way of an ambulance that was trying to back in. Dean ran forward, gave the driver an apologetic look, and hopped inside the car. He drove forward and went to find a parking spot. As he drove he was very aware of the large blood stain on the seat beside him. His hands shook as he steered the car into a spot. Once he was parked, Dean leaned his head on the steering wheel and took another deep breath. He could feel the adrenaline wearing off and his whole body was starting to shake.

"Keep it together…" He mumbled under his breath.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Dean nearly jumped out of his skin when the phone went off, echoing through the tiny space. He popped open the glove box and pulled out one of the many burn phones he'd purchased on his way to find Sam. He looked down at the caller ID and saw Bobby's name flash across the screen. For a split second he contemplated ignoring it but...he could use a good dose of the old man's grumpiness. It had a way of grounding him.

"Hey Bobby." He said when he answered.

"Dean? What's wrong?"

Dean almost laughed at the man's strange ability to tell that something was wrong just from the sound of his voice.

"Heh, well, you could say, everything."

"Don't bullshit me boy. Just tell it to me straight."

Dean rubbed a hand over his face. Or, he tried to. As soon as he saw what it was covered in he quickly lowered it again.

"I shot her Bobby. I…shot Sam."

"…"

"Bobby?" Dean asked, a little desperately.

"Just give me a sec here. So, what happened exactly?"

"I shot her. That's what happened. She's in the hospital right now…probably dying. And I did it to her!"

"Dean, calm the hell down. You freaking out isn't going to help your sister."

Dean started a bit at Bobby's words. It was really the first time the man had ever seriously called her his sister.

"Now, you must have had a reason. What was it?"

"She…she was trying to kill dad…"

"What?!" Bobby exclaimed in disbelief. "Why…how...Your father is there?!"

Dean still had trouble with that as well. How had his father ended up there and how did Sam know that that was where he was? Because she had known. The look on her face, and the way she'd just sped off to Lawrence, proved it.

"Yeah…he's here. Sam carved him up pretty good too. He's in the hospital." Dean ended the sentence there because if he thought about his father anymore it would just piss him off. Bobby, of course, wouldn't leave it alone.

"There's something you're not telling me Dean. What is it?"

Dean sighed and put his head back down on the steering wheel. "He…he wanted me to kill her, Bobby."

"What?" Bobby practically yelled into the phone. Dean could picture his face turning red.

"Yeah. He called her a monster wearing Sam's face and that I had to put her down. You know, I kind of wish I'd shot him instead."

Silence settled upon the car. Both of them wrapped up in their own thoughts. Bobby was the one to finally break it.

"You still in Lawrence?"

"Yeah."

"I'm heading there now. I'll be there as soon as I can alright. You keep your head on straight until I get there, you hear me?"

"Thanks Bobby."

"No problem kid. See you soon."

When Dean hung up the phone he turned his gaze over to the passenger seat. Then he looked down at his hands.

"God dammit…"


	12. Chapter 12

_Walking along the sidewalk, holding tight to her big brothers hand, Samantha hummed the theme song from the children's show Barney. It was fast becoming her favorite, despite the fact that her brother had started calling him the big purple duffus. None of that mattered though, because Dean was taking her to the park for the afternoon and she was bursting with excitement. Lately he had been spending a lot of time with the friends he'd made at school and very little time with her. But today he had said that they were going to have some fun at the park down the street. She looked up at him with a huge smile on her face._

"_We're gonna spend the whole day there, right Dean?"_

_He looked down at her and winked. "You know it Sammy. And when we're done we can get some ice cream. Dad left us some cash and I decided it's time for a treat. Sound good?"_

"_Really, Dean?! Ice cream?! Yay!" Sam yelled in excitement as she started skipping and swinging their hands._

_Dean chuckled good-naturedly and let her continue swinging their arms. _

_Once at the park, Sam ran straight for the swings. "You have to push me, Dean!"_

"_Okay, okay. How about we try and see if you can go all the way around the top bar huh?"_

_Sam blinked and looked up at the rusted bar over her head. She stared at it for a long moment before turning back to her big brother. "That's too high…"_

_Dean laughed at the uncertainty on her face. "Okay, not that high then."_

_He walked around and helped her onto the swing. "Okay, Sammy. Hold on tight."_

_Sam gripped the swings chains tightly in her small hands and kicked her legs out in front of her. "Ready."_

_Dean reached forward and gave her a gentle push soon followed by another, and then another. It felt like flying. The wind whooshed by her and it felt really nice. "I'm gonna push you next. Okay, Dean?"_

"_Okay, Sammy. But first…"_

_Sam squealed in delight as Dean gave her a huge push and she went soaring through the air. "Weeee!"_

_In her excitement though, Sam's grip loosened and her hand accidentally let go of the chain. "Dean!" She yelled in fright as she started falling toward the hard stones on the ground._

"_Sammy!" _

_She heard Dean call her name but she closed her eyes in fear. A second later she hit something…but it didn't hurt._

_Cracking open her left eye, Sam realized that she was okay. She was lying on the ground but it was like she was floating above it._

"_You alright Sammy?"_

"_Dean?" Sam opened her other eye and that's when she noticed that the reason she wasn't hurt was because she was lying on top of her big brother. Dean had caught her._

"_Don't worry, I got ya Sammy." He said as he attempted to sit up with her in his lap. That was when Sam noticed him wince._

"_Dean…are you okay?" She asked quietly. _

"_Me? Of course I am."_

_Dean gently set her down on the ground with a cocky smile. "I'm Dean Winchester after all. A stupid swing can't touch me."_

_Sam frowned when she saw him move his right hand behind his back so she couldn't see it. "But, Dean-"_

"_I said I'm fine, Sammy. I'm more worried about you. You feel okay?"_

_Still frowning, Sam looked down at herself. Despite being a little dirty she was completely unharmed._

"_I'm okay. But…I don't want to play on the swings anymore."_

_Dean laughed and smiled at her. "I figured. How about we head over to the slide. I can show you how to do all kinds of sweet tricks on the way down."_

_Dean's smile was contagious and Sam felt excitement well up within her again. "Okay!" She said enthusiastically. _

_Her brother reached out his left hand and she took it without a moment's hesitation. As Dean led her over toward the slide and an afternoon of fun…_

_Sam knew that, no matter what, her big brother would always be there to catch her._

* * *

"_No! I told you that you have to focus! How many times do I have to say it?!" _

"_I-I'm sorry…" She muttered as Azazel screamed at her yet again. She had been trying to exercise the same demon for the past two hours. She could make it writhe in pain. She could make it scream. But…she just couldn't get it out of its host. He was becoming displeased with her and if she didn't get it soon her punishment was going to be severe._

_He sighed in obvious disappointment before fixing her with a hard look. "Try again. This is your last chance, Star. Fail me again…"_

_The words hung in the air and a shiver of fear flitted down her spine. She would do it this time…no matter what._

_The demon stared at her with coal black eyes. The sight used to give her nightmares…but this was her reality now. She had no choice but to accept it. _

"_Okay…" She muttered softly to herself as she emptied her mind of all distractions to focus solely on the task at hand._

_Taking a deep breath, she held her right hand out toward the monster before her and concentrated. She could feel the power surging within her. It was like a soft blanket wrapping her in warmth. That was what scared her the most._

_It used to be painful. Head shattering migraines used to plague her on a daily basis, but now…after all of his 'special drinks', it was just another extension of herself._

"_Focus…" His deep calming voice echoed around her._

_Moments later the screaming started. It was practically inhuman…_

_The demons face contorted in pain and a small part of her relished in it. Inflicting such pain in a monster that had probably killed countless people was one of the things that got her through the day._

_And then it happened…_

"_Ahhhh!" It screamed as black smoke began pouring from its mouth._

"_Yes!" Azazel yelled in delight. "Yes, that's my beautiful girl!"_

_She tried not to let him distract her. She had to finish it._

_Pushing through the slight pain that was starting to appear in her head, she forced the power outward and watched as the black smoke vanished. Letting out a deep shuddering breath and wiping away the small trickle of blood pouring from her nose, she watched as the demons vessel slumped lifelessly in the chair. Another poor person snuffed out by the minions of hell._

"_That was wonderful Star!" Azazel sang as he suddenly lifted her from the ground and into his arms. He spun her around in his dizzying embrace and she had to stop herself from letting her revulsion show. He wouldn't like that._

"_I'm so proud of you." He murmured into her ear as he pulled her close. "That's the fastest anyone has ever been. I knew you were special. My special little Star."_

_She shuddered as his breath traveled over her neck. His words gave her little comfort. He was a monster…and she was well on her way to becoming exactly like him._

_There wasn't much farther that she could possibly fall…_

* * *

"_Sammy! Come out, come out wherever you are!"_

_Sam laughed silently to herself as her big brother continued to search for her hiding place. She'd searched the entire motel room looking for the perfect place. Eventually she'd settled on the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom. He was never going to find her there. _

"_Where oh where could she have gone?" _

_Sam couldn't hold back a giggle and quickly put her hand over her mouth to silence it. She listened hard to see if Dean had heard her but she couldn't hear him anymore. She moved forward a little and placed her face close to the door. There was still no sign of him._

"_Ahhhhh!" Sam screamed as the door was suddenly ripped open._

_Crouching there, a big grin on his face, was Dean. "Found ya, Sammy!"_

_Sam pushed at his face with her tiny hands until he fell over onto his bum. Then she crawled out of the cabinet and stomped her feet as she stormed out of the room._

"_Hey, Sammy…"_

_She shook her head and didn't utter a word. He'd scared her and ruined the game and now she was mad. Dean trailed behind her as she walked over to their bed and climbed on top of it. She sat on the edge facing the wall and stared down at her knees._

"_Hey, come on Sammy. It was just a joke. I'm sorry I scared you okay?"_

_Her lip trembled in an angry pout. "I wasn't scared."_

_Dean climbed on the bed and sat down beside her. He didn't say anything and Sam couldn't help but glance over at him out of the corner of her eye. He was staring straight ahead at the wall in front of them._

"_Dean?" She mumbled softly when he still hadn't said anything after a few minutes._

"_You know Sammy…it's okay to be scared."_

_Sam shifted on the bed and turned to look at him. He smiled down at her but he had that same sad look on his face that he usually had when he was thinking about their mommy._

"_Really Dean? D-does that mean that you get scared too?"_

_Dean nodded. "You can't tell anybody though, cause I have a reputation to uphold."_

_Sam shifted again and climbed onto his lap. Dean wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled into his chest. "I didn't think you ever got scared, Dean. What are you scared of?"_

_Dean rested his chin on top of her head. "Well…I'm scared of…losing my pain in the ass little sister."_

"_Hey!" Sam yelled as her head shot up at his insult. Unfortunately she forgot that Dean was leaning on her. Her head collided with his chin and a sharp pain shot through her._

"_Owww!" Dean yelped as he reached up to cup his jaw. "Dammit Sam, what the hell was that for?!"_

_His anger immediately drained away however, when he saw Sam rubbing her head with tears in her eyes._

"_H-hey don't cry. It's okay. Look, we'll get some ice on it and you'll be good as new okay?"_

_Sam nodded, a few tears spilling over and falling down her cheeks. Dean shifted her out of his lap and jumped off the bed to get the ice. Sam watched him go…and she silently promised that she would keep Dean from being afraid. She would make sure that he never lost her because…one of her greatest fears was losing him too._

* * *

"Sam? Can you hear me?"

* * *

_She looked around her cell and shuddered as the chilly air seeped into her bones. Her gaze landed on the small grate placed at the bottom of the left side wall. An hour earlier she'd heard Jacob drag someone into the cell beside hers. Another new friend for her and the others that remained. She shuffled over and leaned down so that her ear was right next to it. She listened hard and could just make out the sound of crying. _

"_Hello?" She asked softly, not wanting to upset the person any further._

_The crying shut off abruptly and a quiet female voice answered her._

"_H-hello?"_

_She smiled grimly and adjusted herself so that she was a little more comfortable on the cold hard ground. "Hello there. My name is Star…what's yours?"_

"_A-Ava."_

"_Hello Ava." She said while trying to keep her tone as friendly as possible. "I know you're scared but you have to try and calm down okay. He doesn't like the sound of crying."_

_She heard another sniffle come from the other room. "How old are you Ava?"_

"_E-eight. H-how o-old are you?"_

"_I'm ten."_

"_W-where are we? What is this place?"_

_She closed her eyes and took in a deep shuddering breath. What was she supposed to say? They were in hell? They were never getting out? If she didn't stop crying and become strong then she would end up like some of the other children? Colby…Zara…Mallory…all dead and gone…_

"_This is a place that will make you strong Ava. You, me, and the others, we're all special and this place is where they send the special people to make them strong." _

_Silent tears started streaming down her cheeks as she spoke those lies. Her welcoming speech had been entirely different in the beginning. She'd always tell the newbies that they would find a way out. That there was hope…_

_Not anymore…_

"_S-special?"_

"_Yes. You are very special. He only picks the special ones."_

_Silence descended and she couldn't help but wonder what Ava was thinking. The little girl was probably still absolutely terrified. There wasn't anything she could say to make it any better. _

"_Mommy always said I was special…"_

_Something had changed in Ava's voice. It wasn't fear, it was…more like excitement. Her eyes widened in realization. Ava sounded a lot like the way she herself was starting to sound._

_She shot away from the wall and huddled in the opposite corner of the room. She wrapped her arms around her knees and started to rock slowly back and forth. Her eyes locked on the name carved into her wrist. "I don't remember who you are but…I don't want to be here anymore…why haven't you come yet?"_

_Silence settled upon them for a moment before…_

"_I am special,_

_I am special, _

_Look at me,_

_You will see,_

_Someone very special,_

_Someone very special,_

_It is me,_

_It is me."_

_She closed her eyes and tried to block out Ava's song. It was to the tune of Frere Jacques and the girl just kept singing it. Over and over and over._

"_Shut up…shut up…shut up…" She muttered under her breath as another round began._

"_I am special,_

_I am special-"_

"_SHUT UP!" She screamed, suddenly overcome with rage. How dare the foolish girl think that she was special! Star was the special one! "If you don't shut up I'll show you what it really means to be special!"_

_Her words reverberated throughout the tiny room and seemed to have the desired effect. _

_Silence enveloped them…only to be broken a short time later by the most wonderful sound._

_Star stared blankly at the wall in front of her. A slow smile crossed her lips as the peaceful sound of crying resumed once again._

"_I am special…" She sang quietly to herself. The smile never left her face._

* * *

"They keep telling me that you can hear me, I hope that's true. I…I want you to know that…I'm so sorry Sammy…"

* * *

"_Sam."_

_Sam looked up from her coloring book and smiled at her daddy. "Hi daddy. Want to see my picture?"_

_She picked up the paper and held it out to him. She had spent all afternoon working on it. It was a picture of her family. She was in the middle. Dean was on the right, and her daddy was on the left. She had thought about putting her mommy in it but…that would have made her brother and her daddy really sad._

_John held the picture in his hand and smiled softly down at his daughter. "It's beautiful Sam. You're a real artist. Have you shown your brother?"_

_Sam frowned. "Yes. He said it looked like three pigs were dancing."_

_John barked out a laugh and Sam frowned even more._

"_It's not funny daddy."_

_John laughed again. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I'll talk to Dean later okay?"_

_A smile lit up her face. "Really? You gotta tell him that my picture is pretty and that he's wrong."_

"_I will. I promise." John looked around the room and then frowned when he didn't see his son. "Sam, where is your brother?"_

"_He said he was going to the arcade. He said he was gonna bring me back a stuffed bear from the crane game!" Sam said, bursting with excitement. Dean was really good at the crane game, she'd seen him play it before, and was sure he was gonna get her the blue bear with the brown eyes._

"_He left you here alone?"_

_Sam looked down at the table and fiddled with her fingers._

"_Sam."_

_She looked up at her daddy and saw that he looked pretty angry. "He said he'd only be gone for one hour…" She answered quietly._

_John looked even less pleased than before. "Come on Sam. We're going to go get your brother."_

"_But daddy-"_

"_Now Sam."_

_Sam hopped off of her chair and silently followed him out of the room. _

_The arcade was only about a block away. John took her hand and the two of them headed down the street. The whole way there Sam felt really bad. Dean was gonna be in trouble and it was all her fault. But…she couldn't lie to her daddy. They always said that lying was bad, unless it was a white lie. She still didn't really understand the difference. It was really confusing._

_As soon as they entered the arcade Sam could hear her brother's voice. Dean sounded really excited. Her daddy led them over toward the other side of the room and she could see Dean standing at one of the games, surrounded by a bunch of other kids._

"_I told you guys I was awesome at this freaking game! High score baby!"_

"_Dean Winchester."_

_Completely freezing, Dean slowly turned around when he heard his father's voice. Sam could see his eyes widen when he saw them standing there. She thought it was kind of funny. Dean looked like one of the owls from her story book._

_The other kids scattered and Dean was left standing there alone._

"_Oh…uh, hey dad…" He muttered as he rubbed the back of his head._

"_Don't you 'hey dad' me, Dean. I told you to stay in the room and look after your sister. Instead you leave her there alone to come and play some stupid game. Where are your priorities Dean?"_

"_But dad-"_

"_No Dean. I don't want to hear it. We are leaving now. Grab your stuff."_

"_Yes sir."_

_Sam felt really bad when she saw the angry look on her brother's face. She pulled her hand out of her daddy's and walked over to him as he turned around and grabbed his backpack off of the ground beside the game._

"_Are you mad at me, Dean? Cause…if you are…I guess it's okay that you think my picture looks like dancing pigs."_

_Dean stared down at her in disbelief before breaking out in a laugh. He shook his head at her and then reached out to ruffle her hair. "No, I'm not mad at you Sammy. We should go before dad blows a gasket."_

_Taking her hand in his, Dean led her out of the arcade after their father._

_When they got back Dean was ordered to his room as punishment. Sam watched him go._

"_Daddy?"_

"_Yes sweetheart?" John asked as he went to work making supper._

"_Daddy…could I be punished too?"_

_John briefly looked at her in surprise before realizing what she wanted. A part of him didn't want to let her because Dean had really screwed up and he needed to be punished. But, on the other hand, when had he ever been able to say no to her innocent face._

"_Okay Sammy. You can be punished too."_

_Sam's hazel eyes sparkled in excitement. "Yay! Thank you daddy!"_

_She ran over to the table and grabbed her colouring supplies and then headed for the bedroom. When she closed the door she saw that Dean was lying on his bed reading one of his comic books. He sat up when he saw her enter the room._

"_What the hell are you doin Sammy? Dad doesn't want you in here."_

"_It's okay Dean. Daddy said I could be punished too. Do you want to colour with me?"_

_Dean rolled his eyes at her and then got off the bed. "Colour huh? Well, how bout I give you something first?"_

"_Really Dean? Like a present?"_

"_Yup." He said with a laugh as he rummaged around in his backpack. Sam couldn't see what he was doing because he had his back to her. She tried peering around him but it didn't work. A second later he spun around with something behind his back._

"_What is it? What is it?" She squealed in delight. _

_Dean laughed before pulling a blue bear from behind him._

_Sam's eyes lit up. "Wow! It's the bear from the crane game! You really got it!" She yelled as she ran forward to get the bear. He was so fluffy as she crushed him into her chest._

"_Thank you Dean."_

"_No problem Sammy, I promised after all. And when have I ever broken a promise?"_

"_Never."_

"_Damn straight. And I never will."_

* * *

"You can't die Sam. Not after I finally found you again. We have so much stuff to catch up on…get to know each other again…"

* * *

"_Why do I have to kill them?"_

"_Because I told you to."_

"_That's not good enough. You said I'm powerful. The most powerful one you have. Does that mean I'm more powerful than you?"_

_Azazel stared at her for a long moment before breaking out into a sinister smile. "More powerful than me huh? Why don't we test that theory?"_

_Before she could even react, she was thrown backward into the wall behind her. She could hear the others crying in fear but, despite the pain she was in, she would not cry. Never again._

"_Is that it?" She asked as she pushed herself to her feet. She could feel the blood dripping down the back of her head._

_The words were barely out of her mouth before she felt like she was suffocating. Her throat was constricting and her vision was growing dark._

"_Such a cocky attitude for someone who can't even fight back. You disappoint me Star."_

_Her vision went completely black and all she could remember was the impact as her body hit the ground._

"_Why does she always provoke him?"_

"_Because she's crazy."_

"_Shut up Jake."_

"_Don't tell me what to do Jessica. The only one here who even stands a chance against him is Lily and she can't even do anything unless she can touch him. What exactly was she trying to prove?"_

"_I was trying to show him that he won't control me forever." She whispered as consciousness slowly returned. A part of her really wanted to show Jake that he had no idea what she was capable of either. One day perhaps…_

"_She's awake!"_

"_I can see that Andy. Star? Can you open your eyes for me?"_

_Jessica's soft voice drifted through her like a song and she forced herself to listen to it. Eyelids fluttering slightly, she managed to crack them open a little. Jessica was staring down at her, dull blue eyes shimmering in the dark._

"_Hello there." The blond said with a grim smile._

"_Hey…" She mumbled as she attempted to push herself up into a sitting position. A pair of hands supported her from behind and she turned her head to see Andy grinning mischievously. She narrowed her eyes at him in annoyance._

"_What?" He said, feigning ignorance._

"_Don't 'what' me, Andy. Keep the hands above the waist."_

_He chuckled lightly and removed his hands. She watched, still wary, as he backed away to go and sit by Ava who was watching the whole thing from the far corner of the room. Ava was always watching._

_Turning her attention back to the matter at hand, she focused back on Jessica._

"_How long was I out this time?"_

"_Three hours." Jake answered._

_She turned to face the large black boy with a frown. "What's your problem? What I do doesn't affect you does it? Leave it alone Jake."_

_He snarled angrily back at her. "Doesn't affect me?! Like hell it doesn't affect me! Every time you pull this crap who do you think has to clean up the mess?! He wanted you to kill those goddamn kids and you should have just done it! He made Lily do it!"_

_Her eyes immediately swiveled over to the small girl with the mousy brown hair huddled by the wall. Lily was weak. She was actually surprised that the girl had managed to survive so long in the first place. The tiny brunette was the youngest, brought in a year after Ava was and had a very interesting gift. With a single touch, Lily could end a life. Sometimes she wished the girl would use it on her…_

_Pushing herself to her feet, she ignored the concerned gaze of Jessica and the angry one of Jake, and walked over to drop down beside her friend._

"_You killed them huh?"_

_Lily nodded mutely, never raising her head._

"_Did they scream?"_

_The girl's head shot up and terrified green eyes locked on her face._

"_Did they scream Lily? Did they cry? Did they beg you to let them go?"_

"_What the hell Star?!" Jake snarled as he began to storm over. She barely noticed Jessica grab his arm and hold him in place._

"_Answer me."_

"_T-they c-cried…" _

"_But you did it anyway?" She asked, voice void of all emotion._

_Lily nodded._

"_Good job Lily."_

_The girls green eyes widened in fear. "W-what?"_

"_You did a good job. Killing them was the right thing to do. If you hadn't of done it he would have played with them. They would have ended up like Michael. Do you remember what happened to him?"_

_The girl's face went completely white._

"_You saved them Lily. But I promise you that I will do it next time. I'll kill them all. Have I ever broken a promise?"_

_Lily shook her head and she smiled. "That's right Lily. I always keep my promises."_

* * *

"You always were a stubborn kid but this is ridiculous. Come on Sam, I know you can do this. Open those hazel eyes for me. Please…"

* * *

"_Come on Sammy. Open those eyes for me."_

"_D-Dean?"_

"_There she is. How many fingers am I holding up?"_

_Sam blinked a few times and she saw her big brother staring down at her with a concerned look on his face while holding up three…maybe six, fingers._

"_Dean? W-what happened?"_

"_Well, you took a little fall there Sammy." He looked over to the left and Sam followed his gaze. She was lying at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the front porch of the house they were renting for the month._

"_I-I fell?"_

"_Yup. You were chasing that stupid dog from next door and missed a step. Do you remember?"_

_Sam thought back. She remembered Sparky but…_

"_My head really hurts Dean…" She mumbled as pain pierced her skull._

"_I know Sammy. Let me take a look okay. If it's really bad I'll have to call dad."_

_Dean grabbed her by the shoulders and gently helped her up into a sitting position. A wave of dizziness washed over her._

"_D-Dean…" She mumbled as the world started spinning._

"_Whoa, easy Sammy. Close your eyes okay? That might help."_

_She did as he said and it did help a little._

"_Better?"_

"_A l-little…"_

"_Okay. Just give me one sec okay? I'm gonna take a look."_

_She kept her eyes closed as she felt his fingers on the back of her head. It was okay at first but then…_

"_OWW!" She screamed as he touched a really painful spot. Tears started pouring down her cheeks._

"_Ah, Jesus! I'm sorry!"_

_Dean immediately removed his hand and came around in front of her. She opened her eyes and looked up at him._

"_I don't feel good Dean…"_

"_I know Sammy…I'm gonna get you in the house and then I'll call dad okay?"_

"_Okay Dean."_

_Blinking back tears, Sam let her big brother gently lift her off the ground. She had to close her eyes again because the world was still spinning. She heard him walk up the stairs and open the front door._

"_Almost there Sammy."_

_A few seconds later she felt Dean lower her down onto something soft. When she opened her eyes she saw that she was in the bedroom she shared with him._

"_Sammy? You doin okay?"_

_She was about to tell him that she was alright when she suddenly felt like she was going to throw up._

"_D-Dean…" She managed to stutter out before the bile rose and spilled out all over her._

"_Whoa! Okay, it's okay…" Dean said in a panic as he leaned over her. "Don't worry about it Sammy. I'll clean it up later. Just let it out okay."_

_Tears poured down her cheeks as her stomach churned. Eventually she was able to calm down a little and Dean helped clean her up. He helped her into her pajama's, put ice on the back of her head and eased her down onto their dad's bed since hers was covered in puke._

"_You can sleep for a bit Sammy but I'm gonna wake you up in about an hour."_

"_Why?" Sam asked sleepily._

_Dean chuckled lightly. "Because you probably have a concussion and concussion means do not let little sisters sleep for more than an hour."_

"_Okay." She answered as her eyelids fluttered closed. "Dean?"_

"_Yeah Sammy?"_

"_Can you stay here with me?"_

"_Course I can. I ain't goin anywhere. And I promise I'll be here when you wake up."_

"_Thanks Dean. I love you…" She muttered as she drifted off._

"_I love you too Sammy."_

* * *

"Dad's awake…I don't know if you really want to hear about him after what happened but…ah, hell…come on Sammy…"

Sam heard a voice calling her through the memories. It was so familiar…it was so comforting. It was the voice from her past. A voice that meant everything to her. It wanted her to wake up…so she decided to listen.

It was time for her to stop running.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Hello everyone. It has certainly been a while, and for that i'm sorry. I blame it on life happening and a lack of motivation. But i'm back now and am hoping to update more frequently now that the motivation problem has been rectified. I hope you enjoy this chapter and once again, please leave a review because I love hearing what everyone thinks. They absolutely make my day. Happy reading.**_

* * *

Dean paced. He paced for three hours, forty two minutes, and eighteen seconds. That's how long it took for someone to come out and tell him that his _father_, not Sam, was awake and needed to see him. A wave of anger washed over him and he looked up at the clock on the wall. What he really wanted to do was wait for Bobby to arrive. The old man would be able to keep him from flying off the handle. Unfortunately, it would still take another two to three hours for him to get there.

With a wary sigh, Dean followed the nurse to his father's room.

After the woman took her leave, Dean stood outside the door and tried to prepare himself for what he was about to do. His anger toward his father was still pretty strong and he had to force himself to stomp it down. Yelling and screaming at the man was not going to solve anything.

Taking a deep calming breath he opened the door.

John was lying on the hospital bed looking like he'd seen better days. His father was as pale as a ghost and had multiple tubes and wires connected to his body. He also had a large bandage wrapped around his chest where Dean knew that Sam had stabbed him.

The moment he entered the room John turned toward him with a wariness that Dean had never seen before. Without saying a word, Dean walked over and sat down in the chair beside the bed. The two of them sat quietly for a few minutes, neither of them really sure where to start. Eventually, Dean decided enough was enough.

"You wanted to see me?" He said coolly.

John sighed and turned to face the end of his bed. "I know you're mad at me son, but-"

"Mad? Mad?! Oh, I'm more than mad. You wanted me to kill your own daughter for god's sake!" Dean couldn't help but yell out. He couldn't believe his father was acting like what had happened wasn't that big a deal.

"Keep your voice down Dean. Do you want someone to hear you?"

"Maybe I do. Maybe I want someone to hear me, call the police, and have your selfish ass thrown in jail." Dean barked out in anger. The tenuous hold he had on his rage was slowly breaking.

John sighed again and rubbed a hand over his face. "I only did what I had to do." He said softly, still not facing Dean.

"What you had to do?" Dean asked in disbelief. "What, in all that has happened, would give you even the slightest possible reason to have to kill Sam? Sure she's not exactly…sane, at the moment…but she's still Sam. My little sister. Your daughter."

A look of pure agony crossed John face and Dean felt a flash of uncertainty. "Dad?"

"You…you don't understand Dean."

"Well then _tell_ me. You're always keeping all these goddamn secrets from me. Just tell me the truth!"

John sighed again and closed his eyes. "Alright. Fine."

Dean was a little shocked. John always kept everything so close to the chest and he never let anyone in, not even Dean. And the resignation in the man's voice scared him a little. He'd never heard John speak like that before. Not even when Sam went missing.

Figuring whatever his father was about to tell him was going to be pretty bad, Dean braced himself for what was coming.

"First off…I never stopped looking for your sister Dean."

"Wha-"

John held up a hand to stop his words. "Let me finish son. Then you can throw in your two cents."

Dean forced down his retort and rolled his eyes before motioning his father to continue.

"I only said those things to you back then because I wanted you as far from me as possible while I tried to figure out the truth. About a month before we had our fight I found something Dean. Something that proved that Sam was not the only one that had been taken."

"Wait, hold on a second. Other kids were taken?" Dean just couldn't help himself.

"What did I just say about letting me finish?" John scolded in an irritated tone. When Dean scowled at him he continued. "Before Sam, at least twelve other children had been taken under similar circumstances all across the country. More than half of them had lived through a fire which always started in the nursery. And in each case, when that child turned seven years old, he or she was taken within two weeks of their birthday. It took me a long time to connect the dots but when I did I realized that this was a lot bigger than just our Sam. I didn't want you anywhere near this Dean. I couldn't bear to lose another child…"

John trailed off and Dean wasn't really sure what to say. His father had just been trying to protect him this entire time?

"I know that we both said some awful things the last time we spoke but I want you to know that I did all of it to make sure you stayed safe."

Dean glared down at the floor before turning his gaze onto his father. "That doesn't explain why you told me to shoot her. That girl is Sam dad. Our Sam. No matter what happened to her or what she's done, she is my baby sister."

John stared at him blankly for a moment before tears started streaming down his cheeks.

"D-dad?" Dean stuttered out, completely startled. The only time he'd ever seen his father cry was when Sam had been taken.

John angrily wiped the tears away. "I…Dean, your sister…what she is supposed to become…" His father could barely get the words out. Dean had never seen his dad like that before. A sense of dread settled in his stomach.

"Dad, tell me everything. I can handle this okay. Just tell me."

John looked at him with such despair in his eyes that Dean knew nothing would ever be the same again.

* * *

An hour and a half later, Dean found himself standing outside his sister's room. Ten minutes earlier a doctor had finally come out, covered in blood…Sam's blood…and told him she had pulled through surgery…barely. She had coded twice on the table and was still in intensive care. She would need another surgery to repair the rest of the damage but that would have to wait until she was stronger. He had been led to the room by a nurse but was finding himself unable to actually go inside.

Everything his father told him was still swirling around in his mind as well as the fact that it was his fault that his baby sister was inside barely holding on to life. It was a lot to deal with.

"Come on Dean, you can do this…" He mumbled quietly to himself, trying to psych himself up. Taking a deep breath as if to prepare himself for what he was about to see, Dean pushed the door open.

No amount of breathing could have prepared him for what he saw. Lying there, looking like she was already dead, was his baby sister. If not for the beeping of the heart monitor he would have thought she was a corpse. Sam was ghost pale with tubes and wires hooked up to her all over the place. He recognized the blood pressure and heart rate monitors as well as the machine for measuring brain activity but the rest was gibberish to him. All he knew was that they were helping to keep her with him and that's all that mattered.

She had bandages covering her chest under a light hospital gown and an oxygen mask was covering her face, helping her to breath. All in all she looked like a fragile, broken little girl who'd suffered through a nightmare.

Sucking in a shaky breath, Dean made his way over to the chair by the side of the bed. Once he was seated he gently took her right hand in his own and held it tightly.

"H-hey Sammy…" He said softly as he carefully brushed her bangs out of her eyes with his other hand. There was no response…not like he expected one, but a guy could hope right?

"I really don't know what to say here kiddo. I mean I friggin shot you…"

He took in another shaky breath and rubbed his free hand over his face. "Goddammit…"

Looking down at her pale face, Dean couldn't help but wonder if what his dad said was really true. She looked so small lying in that bed and she had been so afraid of her abilities. There was no way that Sam was supposed to be some kind of monster. She was just…just his little sister.

"Sam? Can you hear me?"

Still no response. His hand tightened even further around her own. "Don't worry Sammy. Everything is gonna be okay…"

Dean wasn't really sure who he was trying to convince, Sam or himself.

He sighed tiredly and his gaze was drawn down to her still cast covered left wrist, or more importantly, to where he knew his name was carved. He hoped that at some point at least, having that there had given her some sort of comfort.

He sighed again and placed his forehead on the bed beside her.

"You're a real drama queen, you know that little sister…" He mumbled quietly as his eyes drifted shut. Dean was absolutely exhausted and slowly drifted off to sleep to the sound of the heart rate monitor…never letting go of Sam's hand.

* * *

"Sir? Excuse me sir?"

A gentle shaking sensation pulled Dean from unconsciousness. It wasn't exactly a calm awakening. Not knowing what was happening he jolted up and nearly collided with the nurse standing over him.

"Whoa, it's okay sir! You're in the hospital!"

Dean's eyes whipped around the room trying to reorient himself. "W-what?" He stuttered out as his gaze landed on the wide eyed blond standing beside him. Her hands were out in a placating gesture.

"You're in the hospital. Do you remember?" She asked quietly so as not to freak him out even more.

He looked around again and his gaze landed on Sam. Everything came flooding back and his heartrate returned to normal.

"Yeah. Hospital. Right." He said as he ran a hand over his face.

"Sir?"

He turned tired eyes in the woman's direction. "What?" He barked in annoyance.

"Umm, I'm sorry sir, but visiting hours are over. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Dean stared at her blankly for a moment not really understanding what she was telling him. That only lasted for a second. "What do you mean leave? I'm not going anywhere."

The woman blinked at him before frowning slightly. "I'm sorry sir but visiting hours are over. You can return tomorrow morning at eight."

Dean scowled up at her. "I am not leaving my sister here alone."

The woman's gaze softened slightly. "Look, I understand that you're worried about your sister but she is surrounded by the best doctors. You look exhausted. Go home, get some rest, then come back first thing tomorrow. We have your phone number on file so if anything happens you will be the first person we call. Okay?"

He didn't give a shit about being exhausted. Sam was hurt and he needed to be beside her. There was also the possibility that whatever was hunting her could attack at any moment and he needed to be there to protect her. On the other hand though, if he pissed these people off they could keep him from coming back, or worse call the cops on him.

"Fine. Whatever. Just give me a sec." He grumbled in annoyance.

The nurse gave him a somewhat flustered nod and then left the room.

Dean turned back to Sam and felt the unbelievable desire to stay. He didn't want to leave her. She looked so…small in that bed. So vulnerable…

He gently ran a hand over her hair and leaned over to kiss her forehead.

"I gotta go now Sammy…but I promise I'll be back first thing tomorrow. Okay?"

Pushing past his overwhelming reluctance, Dean pushed himself to his feet and released his sister's hand. He stood there silently staring down at her for a moment before letting out a resigned sigh and turning to head for the door.

* * *

When he reached the lobby he was still trying to come up with some sort of plan. Maybe he could just crash in the Impala outside the hospital or something. But then his thoughts always came back to the blood all over the passenger side seat…

"Wow. You look like crap."

Startled out of his morbid thoughts, Dean whirled around to see Bobby walking toward him. A sense of utter relief washed over him at the sight.

"Yeah, like you look any better old man." He said with a tired smirk.

Bobby chuckled and then placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "How you doin kid?"

Dean took in a shuttering breath. "Honestly? Been better."

Bobby nodded knowingly. "Figured as much. How's your dad?"

"He'll be fine. They're already saying he should be good to go tomorrow afternoon."

"They're saying that or John's saying that?"

Dean couldn't help but laugh. "Bit of both I guess."

"Yeah. That sounds about right. So, uh, how's…Sam doing?" Bobby questioned softly.

He wasn't even sure where to start. "She's bad Bobby. Barely made it through surgery. The doc said…he said she flat lined twice."

"Jesus…"

"Yeah. They have to do another one when she's a little stronger, to fix the rest of the damage…I did this to her Bobby."

"Hey, none of that crap. You and I both know that you would never hurt that girl on purpose. It was an accident, Dean. You understand me boy?"

Bobby's voice was filled with utter conviction but Dean could only nod jerkily. It was one thing to know the truth of the old man's words but…it was another thing altogether to believe them.

Bobby sighed but nodded in understanding. "Alright, I get it. I don't like it, but I get it."

Dean gave him a tired smile.

"Well, I got a room at a motel nearby. Figured you'd get booted from here at some point, so how bout headin over there to get some rest. When do visiting hours start up again?"

"Eight."

Bobby nodded to himself and then gestured toward the exit. "Shall we?"

"Yeah…" Dean mumbled quietly as he cast another long look toward the bank of elevators he'd just vacated. He really didn't want to leave.

"She'll still be here tomorrow, Dean."

Dean looked over at Bobby with pained filled eyes. "You can't know that for sure…"

There was nothing Bobby could say to that.

* * *

Back in Sam's hospital room a man in a suit stood beside her bed and stared down at her still form with unreadable black eyes. He'd arrived mere moments after Dean had vacated the room and was content just watching her sleep. It had been so long since he'd seen her and judging by the way things seemed to be escalating this may be the last time he would ever get to.

Reaching forward he gently took her right hand in his own and held it.

"I'm so sorry Sam. I've tried so hard to protect you but…he's so powerful. He has all of them out looking for you now. Jessica was only the first. We should have killed them all when you left…"

She gave no indication that she heard any of his words but he still felt the need to say them.

"I'll keep trying but…I don't know how much more time I can give you. I'm not what I used to be. I can feel the pull…I fear I won't be around much longer…"

He sighed and leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on her pale lips.

"You have to keep running my beautiful girl. Keep running and stick with that stupid brother of yours. I have a feeling he just might be what you need to come back to yourself after what we did to you."

He softly placed her hand back on the bed and took a step back. The blackness of his eyes disappeared and pain filled blue eyes looked over her broken body once more.

"I'm so sorry…I love you Samantha." He said quietly, one last time.

Then he was gone.


End file.
